A Personal Look at the Team

Greetings. Today we begin a new series that allows you, the Team Seagal Fan, to get to know the members of this racing powerhouse. This is a glorious moment for you. We're going to take a moment to interview each of the members, and find out what is going on inside their minds this season - their motivations, their inspirations, and their bone-snapping-ations.

First in the spotlight is Casey Ryback. We sat down with Ryback on the Poop Deck of the Battleship Missouri, after he had finished personally preparing Captain Adam's dinner.

TS: "So Casey, tell your fans what kind of training you're going through to prepare for the upcoming racing season."

CR: "You know, I don't need any further training. I'm an Ex-Navy Seal, expert in martial arts, explosives, weapons and tactics, with a Silver Star, Navy Cross, and a Purple Heart with Cluster."

TS: "But don't you think that is a little presumtuous, to race without any actual training? Sounds like you won't be seeing any banks for a while, because without training, you won't be winning any races and therefore won't acquire any winnings."

CR: "How about I take YOU to the bank - the BLOOD bank."

TS: "Hey, what are you do..." *SNAP!* "gaaaarhhhhhe...."

CR (staring at the corpse before him): "Do you like being dead?" (Then slams a Cherry Charge)

Casey Ryback

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Steven Seagal eats 5 trucks of food a day.
#2 Special chairs were made to fit Steven Seagal's ass.
#3 Steven Seagal has his own harem.
#4 Steven Seagal doesn't have favorite food. He eats everything.
#5 Steven Seagal only sleeps when having sex.
#6 Steven Seagal is an undefeated champion of the world pie eating competition. His record is eating 500 pies in one hour.
#7 Steven Seagal's penis knows aikido, but can't have an erection.
#8 Steven Seagal can meditate and eat in the same time.
#9 If a diet was a person, Steven Seagal would kill it.
#10 Steven Seagal wanted to be a stunt double for King Kong but was rejected for being too fat.
#11 While Steven Seagal was in Thailand he learned to eat and shit while levitating.
#12 Steven Seagal's belly can repent cannon balls.
#13 Once there used to be pie in this world, but then Steven Seagal came along.
#14 If there are left-overs after he eats, Steven Seagal doesn't throw them, he eats them.
#15 Steven Seagal looks mad, always, because he got his ass spanked by Steven Hawking.
#16 When someone eats a hamburger, Steven Seagal eats two.
#17 Steven Seagal is actually the owner of all fast food restaurants across the world.
#18 Steven Seagal doesn't have a mood when he eats the most. He always eats the most.
#19 A woman once tried to make fun of Steven Seagal's weight in bed. She now has 20 children that are fat and know aikido.
#20 The only thing scarier than Steven Seagal without Botox is Steven Seagal WITH a record deal.
#21 While in Tibet, Steven Seagal learned how to kill a man with such devices as a remote control and a bologne sandwich.