Greetings to you, the loyal Team Seagal Fan. Destiny awaits you on this, the Day of our Lives!
Wait, what? Oh.
Greensfelder Park was the site of a gigantic pile of pain on this past Sunday. Nico Toscani put in one of the most glorious battles of our lives, evidenced by the fact that with 1.5 laps left, his Eggbeater Pedal exploded in a hailstorm of shrapnel, probably killing any spectators regardless of where they were watching on the course. We're still counting bodies, although it is hard to separate Eggbeater-related deaths from Seagal-esque bone-snapping deaths. Despite huge adversity, Nico persevered and finished the race with the same number of pedals as he had gears - ONE. Have you ever ridden Greensfelder? Because if you have, you will understand how ridiculously baller that is. Mason Storm put in a valiant effort, suffering a near-terminal wreck that left a path of destruction, the extent of which will not be known for years to come. Congratulations to Marshall Lawson on serving the entire Sport category!
In other glorious news, as you probably know that the Tour of Missouri has Started in Kansas City today. Representatives from Team Seagal are being dispatched to Branson to watch the Time Trial of our lives. We'll be rooting for the hometown boys, hoping that their wrists are the only ones left intact at the end of the day. The only fluids that we'll be drinking that day will be coffee at first in order to effectively get us down to Branson so early, then at some point that will turn into PBR. Hopefully there will be plenty of restrooms (read: trees) within walking distance.
In all seriousness, if you have any free time this weekend, you NEED to go watch this race when it comes through. The bigger the turnout, the better so that there is a better chance of this race coming back! Check out this site to find out exactly what roads the race will be covering!