Non Race # 3

What: Team seagal NON race # 3
Where: Lost Valley
When: Saturday Dec 22 @ NOON
Why: If you still don't know.....Well why don't you just show up this time and find out for yourself.
What Else: Please bring at least one can good for entry fee. All can goods will then be donated to a local food pantry for the xmas holiday. Also be sure to bring your bike, your thirst for Nog?, and a device that would allow you to complete the TT course with an object....hint(a camelback should help you out). Stay tuned for more details once we get closer to the date.
M Storm.


Possibly Steven Seagal's all-time best movie line?

Can you BELIEVE this clip? It has to be distributed moar:

And you KNOW he isn't fucking around, either!


Charles Bronson on the Simpsons

Not sure how long this video will be up, so check it out quick!


Get Your Money Ready

Team Seagal members get your money ready...

This is the trial run of the T-shirt I made up. Through the end of the month there's free shipping on them and a discount if we order in quantity, so get your money together now. Remind people of the wrist-snapping potential of Team Seagal while walking down the street, not just on the trail. I figure I'll need to know all orders by Monday of next week 11/27 to make sure we get them in on time. I can get the money later. We can choose a couple of different shirt styles, so we need to figure that out too.

Non-Race #2 - A True "Class 9 Hot Mission"

In need of heavy cropping:

Talk about a great day of riding - we doubled our number of participants compared to the Chubb Time Trial, to make for 12 non-racers! Many a nose-wheelies were performed, and many a family with little kids on bikes were seen deep into the technical singletrack. Because of this, many laughs were had.

A good chunk of us started out at the "Mound", where we proceeded to pedal a penultimate path of pestilence and destruction towards Klondike, where we would mount an assault on the Hogsback switchbacks the likes of which have never been seen before. Once we reached Klondike, we were met by speed-specialist Tim Kakouris, and even a healthy contingent of GORC singlespeeders (actually, one was geared.) HUGE thanks to all who came out - we really do appreciate all the support and kind words!

The results are as follows:
1) 8:01m Tim Kakouris
2) 8:02m Matt Keevan
3) 8:04m Carey Edwards
4) 8:22m Nico Toscani *TIE*
4) 8:22m Shop Minister *TIE*
5) 8:35m Gino Felino
6) 8:38m Larry Koester
7) 8:39m Bryan Adams
8) 8:56m The Good Doctor Wesley McLaren
9) 9:18m Casey Ryback
10) 9:32m "Pimp"
11) 10:28m Jack Taggert

Great Job. Here are the starting pictures:

Each battle-hardened warrior fought valiantly up the treacherous switchbacks on their way to glory. There were many casualties, the most notable of which was weakness. It was nice to not encounter horses and their fecal matter. After summitting, we parted ways, with the Team Seagal Soldiers heading straight back down Hogsback in super record time.

Of course, when visiting Klondike, you can't just ride one trail twice. So we were erroneously enticed to embark erotically on an elite epic encompassing the extremely enjoyable trails that traverse topographically-technical terrain that was westward of where we were waiting.

After playing around on the teeter-totter, we held a little impromtu time trial on the super-fun 1/8 mile(?) Strip Mine loop. The course was one full loop of Strip Mine (without any carrying the bike) starting and finishing at the wooden pallet/sand pit. After two sets of laps, the best times are as follows:

1) 1:26 min Casey Ryback (no dabs)
2) 1:32 min Mason Storm
3) 1:37 min Gino Felino
4) 1:42 min Shop Minister
5) 1:47 min Nico Toscani
6) 2:08 min Dr. Wesley McLaren

The SMTT left us wanting more technical riding, and the best place to fill that desire is, of course, the Donkey Kong Loop, where we easily snapped the metaphorical wrist of the trail.

At this point, we'd been on the trail for many hours. It was time to start heading in the direction of our cars. But not before trying out a different route with which to get to the Matson Hill Trail. Instead of riding the Katy down to Matson Road and then suffering up the "wall," we turned left onto Terry Road, and took that up to Duke. This took us up a less-wall-like gravel road, and lots of rolling hills before turning right onto Duke. It was much more scenic, even if we did have to backtrack nearly as far as Klondike. Then we had several miles of rolling hills on pavement before reaching the Matson Hill Trail. This is probably a route best done with a cyclocross bike, rather than a fat-tire singlespeed mountain bike. Due to limited sunlight, we skipped Matson Hill Trail, and instead rocketed down Matson Hill Road where we took the Katy back to the Hamburg.

These trails are phenomenal trails, and when riding them, please take this sign into account:

The second Team Seagal Non-Race is now in the books as a successful and above-all FUN event that brought a riders together to... well, ride. #3 is already in the works, with a definite date set - Winter Solstice, Dec. 22, which is a Saturday. For the first time there will be an entry fee, in the form of food to be donated to charity. Specific formatting-details have yet to be finalized, but until they are, ask yourself one question: "Just how much do you like egg nog?"

We'll see you there.

-C. Ryback


Save this date!!!

The Single Speed World Championships are coming back to American soil for 2008(August 23-24). I don't know about you, but I will be there this year. NorCal is much closer than Scotland!!! We need to represent Team Seagal to the fullest. Check this website for details.http://www.sswc08.com/
M. Storm


Another Trifecta. Sweeeet....

Greetings, Loyal Team Seagal Fans. Today, Thursday, 4 Seagal Soldiers (Nico Toscani, Dr. Wesley McLaren, Shop Minister, and Yours Truly, Casey Ryback) pedaled their way onto the battlefield in hopes of entering into glorious battle. We are happy to announce that we all came out victorious. That's not to say there weren't a few close calls. Part of the trifecta today was to do some reconnaissance for the upcoming Time Trial , and to also make up for the fact that we won't be able to participate with the surprisingly-well-received and possibly-going-to-be-well-attended Aggro Trifecta. We all hope that the ride is well attended, because more people need to ride their damn bikes.

As I said, our glorious ride today was nearly cut short by a dramatic pile-up/over-the-bars incident involving Dr. Wesley McLaren and Shop Minister. Only a couple of minor cuts and one hard junk-racking. Good thing there was a Doctor present. It left the bikes like this:

We pressed on after completing about 1.25 laps and then headed straight for Matson Hill. We absolutely CRUSHED that hill, with very little out-of-the-saddle climbing. Considering the nature of that wall-like hill AND the fact that we're all on singlespeeds, that's pretty fucking good. It's nearly a given now, that the Matson Hill trail is better done counter-clockwise. We passed by the spot where Mr. Toscani has this unfortunate incident, too.

Making quick work of all trails that lay before us is part of our job description. With that being said, we set our sites squarely on Klondike Park, and the trails that lie within. Oh yeah, we also stopped by the Judgement Tree to pay our respects (or do whatever you do at the Judgement Tree.)

Heading up Hogsback is a daunting task, but the trail was hooking up really well, and the droves of riders that show up for the Time Trial on Sunday will be pleased to see a gobs of buff trail surfaces like this one:

We played around on the teeter-totter for a bit, and then continued down to clobber Donkey Kong instead of feed him tacos.

Shop Minister:

Descending Hogsback is much more fun than climbing it, so we had to descend. Double Switchbacks? In the words of Arnold Schwarzenegger, No Problemo.

Here, Nico shows off his aero-tuck technique, which looks a little strange if you ask me:

We pacelined the shit out of that ride back to the cars.

-C. Ryback

In case you were wondering, our recorded mileage for this ride was 38 miles. That is with a route as follows:
-starting at the mound, riding the Hamburg Trail down to the Lost Valley Connector.
-Lost Valley connector down to the Lost Valley loop, where we turned left down the powerline strip and did a full clockwise lap.
-Right turn back down the powerline strip, where we took the singletrack over to the Lost Valley parking lot.
-Crossed 94 onto the Katy, rode Katy down to Matson.
-Turned right up Matson Hill Road, and then proceeded to do one counter clockwise loop, then came back to the Katy.
-Right turn down to Klondike where we turned right onto the gravel extension (across from the Klondike boatramp) and came over to the bottom of Hogsback.
-Climbed Hogsback, then rode over to do the loops on the west side of the park once, and then again on the way back. (Doubling over our tracks.)
-Road back over to Hogsback where we climbed up the asphalt path, and did Hogsback as a descent.
-Jumped back onto the little gravel connector which took us over to the Katy.
-Took the Katy back to the Hamburg Trail, where we turned left and climbed up to the mound.


Attack of the Clones!

If you ever attend University of Missouri, Columbia, then register for a class with this man:


This is not a joke.



Announcements - Thanksgiving Day and Hogsback TT

Do you like to ride your bike? Do you like to get dirty? (And by "dirty," I mean "dir-tay.") Do you like to be around a bunch of badass dudes?

If you've answered "yes" to any or all of the above questions, then we have what you need. Moar riding! Two semi-official events coming up:

- Thanksgiving Day at the Chubb Trail! The Lone Elk parking lot on Thanksgiving morning is always full of cool people that ride their bikes, all ready to ride at the same time. This isn't really an event that we're "putting on," but rather one that we'll be attending. We'll be out there in full force shooting all the other riders with lazers coming out of Mini-Steven's eyes! 10AM-ish? Be there or be L7.

- Hogsback Hillclimb Time Trial! This is just a reminder to be there or be L7 to see just how fast you can go up those killer switchbacks. Klondike Park has some super-badass trails, and recently GORC put in some very nice teeter-totters out on Powerline, just before Donjo's Trail. Time Trial starts at NOON on the bridge just below the end of the singletrack, and climbs up to the very top of the trail, before you turn to head back down. After all that business is over, then we'll go for a satisfying group ride afterwards - destination TBA.

Finally, I just thought I'd share this picture that I think is badass:


Team Seagal CX

Nico looking good in his 1st ever CX race. Finished 16th(On a SS) out of 29 in the c race this past weekend. This was also a Team Seagal 1st, and it is looking like more TS Riders are planning on joining in on the CX action.
M. Storm
PS- Does anyone else think this photo looks like it was done on a set at Sears Portrait Studio?


Race # 2

Here is the next spoke card for NON- race # 2.
Details will follow.
M. Storm