Boonen's Secret Energy Drink

The recent 4th of July ride (as chronicled by Marshall Lawson on his blog) brought those that showed up much more than just good mileage. It also brought with it a new and exciting energy drink, sure to energize you. Or cause suspicious nosebleeds.

This drink has had some stigma associated with it. Given that, we must refer to the time-tested equation: controversy + energy drink = me purchasing that energy drink. The apparently litigations brought against the makers of Cocaine Energy Drink have led to this awesome disclaimer:

I personally like that the word "Cocaine" is written in a "white powder" font, ready to be read with your nose. Kinda like a blind coke-addict's braille. The caffeine in this little 8.4 oz can is a whopping 240mg. Pretty concentrated for such a small serving. That's like an entire Monster can. If the caffeine content is surprising, then the taste is a f***ing sucker-punch from Dolph Lungren as Ivan Drago in 'Rocky 4.' This was the first drink that made me wince and then say aloud, "OW!" as it burnt my esophagus and nasal passages going down. No nosebleeds, but I suddenly want more and more and more, and I feel damn near willing to do anything to get one.

That's a lie, it tasted terrible. Maybe I was supposed to consume it like this:

Is there such a thing as energy drink rehab?

-C. Ryback

p.s. I've typed the phrase "energy drink" a shit-ton in this post.


Mason Storm said...

Best post ever! BTW great century today...or for me 97.43mi

Casey Ryback said...

103 for me!

Nico Toscani said...

97.89 grams of cocaine for me.

Anonymous said...

How was the Caballo Negro drink I supplied you guys a while back?

Casey Ryback said...

I must say, it was pretty decent. Marshall Lawson informed me that in the new movie "Wanted," a guy goes and buys a can of "Black Stallion" energy drink that is the exact same can as the caballo negro, just spelled in english.

CockPuncher said...

Sounds like fun. Thanks for the invite....NOT. Put in 65 mi on the road Saturday all by my lonesome. Rock Bridge yesterday was stellar....Puncher

Robert T. Metz said...

I've been twitching ever since the 4th anyone know where i can get more??