20080818

Rapture in Misery - "We Make It Rain! Haha!!"

Greetings Loyal Team Seagal Fans! As I sit here, I suffer trying to type these words due to the great beating that my fingers, hands, and wrists took over the course of 12 hours of painful, rigid-fork-infused glory. My hands don't work so well, and so if I type an off-color joke, it is most likely due to a muscle spasm. I mean, thank God I have a girlfriend, otherwise I'd be in trouble, what with these malfunctioning hands and all. Oh sorry, there goes that muscle spasm thing already!

So what about this 12 Hour Pain-Train to Pain-ville known as Rapture in Misery? Well lemme tell you. Many brave soldiers were sent back to the front lines of combat with one thing in mind. Victory. We all suffered our own separate pain-fests in very different ways both before, during, and after this event. Mason Storm (12hr Duo), Nico Toscani (12hr Solo), Lt. Col. Austin Travis (12hr Duo), Gino Felino (12hr Duo), Dr. Wesley McLaren (12hr Solo, and myself, Casey Ryback (12hr Duo) showed up ready to make it rain. Gino was recovering from a sudden, violent bout of food poisoning; The Doctor and myself had to wake up way too early on Sunday in order to be back in StL to work at noon; and lastly, Nico was without his mustache. So as you can clearly see, we underwent many hardships just to even be at this highly-anticipated race. Fortunately, we utilize superior attitude and superior state of mind.

The weather was on our side, and our scouts were reporting optimal conditions after pre-riding on Friday. They also scouted out a fantastic camping spot ride along the race course and scored a super-badass picnic table. A little decorating, and we were in business:

We also made sure to reserve a spot for our good buds:


Waking up on Saturday morning I, and everyone else, was feeling good - so good that it was like the opposite of what a colon-oscopy is probably like. Nico, the Dr., and myself proceeded to the Winstead's for one of the greatest pre-race breakfasts in all of human history. Coffee, hash browns, biscuits and gravy, a mint Firebird in the parking lot, and several people in the shape of bowling balls stuffing their faces - welcome to flavor country!

Back to camp to get ready, at the line, and we were off!




We were fortunate enough to have two lovely ladies, Mrs. Storm and Mrs. Ryback in attendance for photo opportunities, maximum encouragement, and also to look pretty and be awesome. These things came in handy as Nico and the Doctor were definitely in for the long haul.






Can you guess what is missing from this picture? It rhymes with "bus-cash":


This is a great shot because those are awesome "superfans" in lawn chairs who would cheer us all on and fill our prescription for more cowbell on each lap - so cool:


Holy crap, is that Gene Simmons? Oh, it's just LT. Col. Travis in the process of overheating his tires due to his incredible speed:


Mini-Steven was ready for night laps:


Here is our full Squad mere seconds after I finished my last lap and was also the last racer on the course, and came to the finish line to find a cheering crowd AND an ice cold Pabst, but failing to completely close the 10 minute gap on the 3rd place Duo team (Looks like the Doctor is in a wheelchair...):

L-R: Casey Ryback, Lt. Col. Austin Travis, Nico Toscani, Dr. Wesley McLaren, Mason Storm, Gino Felino

Nico finished 3rd in the 12hr Solo 20-29 class, and 5th overall, with 9 laps.
Doctor finished 4th in the 12hr Solo 20-29 class, and 7th overall with 8 laps.
Team Seagal Dos Primos (Gino and Lt. Col.) finished 2nd! in the 12hr Duo with 12 laps.
Team Seagal (Mason and Casey) finsihed 4th in the 12hr Solo with 12 laps.

All in all, Team Seagal rode 41 laps and roughly 450 miles of Landahl this weekend, and our t'aints and wrists took the brunt of all that abuse. Yeah... think about that. However, that doesn't even tell you the stories of how Gino managed all those laps with a surprisingly little amount of nourishment, or of all the mini-to-large wrecks we had, or Nico and I toasted our PBRs during the racers meeting, or how the guy who owned that sweet Firebird at Winstead's looked like a fat Hitler, or how much it sucked for our good buddy Christian to blow out a headlight bulb barely into his first night lap, or how there was a whole f***ing team of guys on Surly Pugsleys, or of all the ninja-photographers hidden in the trees, or of Rich from Cowtown bestowing upon us a fermented gift (much appreciated!):
(that's a 12 pack of Pabst Light, and a 12 pack of Pabst bottles - this photo won't load properly. wtf.)

As always the trails at Landahl will manage to put a smile on our face no matter what. I think I even exclaimed to Christian while sucking his wheel on the first or second lap "This is so much fuuuuunnnn!" Some days the trail just flows underneath you, that the rocks are merely springs, and the corners all feel bermed to allow you to rail everything - and those days seem to be the norm at Landahl. There has not been a bad race there yet this year.

Robort was not able to make it to this race, as he was busy mixing it up in Cape for the Crankwerx NORBA race. However, Matt Keeven (with his new, sub-19 pound SS) and Zach of Mesa were able to be there and add to the St. Louis invasion by taking 1st and 3rd in the 6hr Solo by absolutly crushing out 7 laps. Sweet Jesus.

Oh man, I know your head is on the verge of explosion from reading of our exploits, but I want to leave you with some ridiculous bullshit. You've heard of Bikerfox? Well, a narcissistic creepy old man who thinks he can do fantastic tricks and will be famous some day. The reason I bring it up is to show you this video of him trying to demonstrate his hardcore XTREEM M4D $K1LLZ on the bike (a freaking Super-V) for Jay Leno:

Is there a way that we as a society can make sure he doesn't reproduce?

Left this season:
-the Short Track finale
-the NORBA series to be finished
-3/6hr Tall Oak Challenge at Binder in Jeff City
-BURNIN' AT THE BLUFF!

PREPARE YOUR MINDS.

-C. Ryback

p.s. more pics here with better resolution.

10 comments:

Chris Wurster said...

Well done men, sounds like major carnage was inflicted on the field. Gotta love those rigid forks!

Marc said...

Awesorm!! As usual Team Seagal represents.
Greg, sorry about the illness, I know what riding through that is like. You must of really toughed it out to get second.

Christian Stitz said...

That was a blast guys. Thanks for holding the spot, mental support, and laughs. New bulb is in the mail. Sac? Binder? Burnin.

CockPuncher said...

Congrats all the way around. Sounds like a blast. Casey, that is some damned funny video. See you all at #5 on Saturday....'Puncher

Ryan said...

I would also like to say AwesoRm as our good shop-minister has stated. That looked like a lot of fun. Also thanks for the video, that guy make me feel like I actually have some skills.

Robert T. Metz said...

BRINGIN TEH RAIN!!! Nice job all around

PS Doctor and Casey dont go in the TC bathroom for about 35-40 min. On a stink scale of one 1-10 its a Ministor.

jdstamp said...

Team seagal
Glad that our little cheerin/ringing/drinking section was appreciated. Some of us did not have the money to race...or even drive to landahl so we rode our cross bikes from Lawrence that morning with nothing but the promise of free beer (or something that resembled beer) and the dull clink of bells in our back pockets. It was a good day.

Scott said...

Biker fox get the fuck out of the face. F-N sweet. Nice job fellas. Way to represent.

Holla atcha boy.

FelletBrazing said...

Way to go guys! Kicking ass and snapping wrists as usual! And I have to say that Mini Steven is getting quite high tech with his night vision goggles!

Man, I've got a long way to catch up in the off road bicycle riding area. Anyone care to help whoop my sorry butt into shape thursdays or fridays? I finally have a bike again!

Josh said...

Great job guys. What's next on the race calendar?