20081206

Mountain/CX/Road Bike Racing > Race Walking, always.

Greetings Loyal Team Seagal Fan! We are here today on a more serious note, and that is in order to clarify our job description, or rather, Team Mission. To clarify, let it be known that there will never be a member of Team Seagal that will knowingly participate in any "racewalking" event, or engage in anything resembling "racewalking" at any time. This is due to it's extreme ridiculousness.

By definition, racewalking only has two rules:
1) Racewalker must keep contact with the ground so that no visible (to the human eye) loss of contact occurs.
2) The advancing leg must be straightened (i.e., not bent at the knee) from the moment of first contact with the ground until the leg is in the vertical upright position.


Remember when you were a stupid kid running around the swimming pool chasing your buddy who just stole your goggles, and the lifeguard yelled at you to stop running around the pool, so you just slowed down to make it look like you were walking, but you were still actually trying to run, just not look like you were running? That's racewalking. It is like (to steal a metaphor from BSNYC/RTMS) wearing one of those medieval anti-masturbation devices:


If there is anything that you should learn from us, it is that you should racewalk less and ride you bike moar. So in conclusion, racewalking sucks, and we'll see you at the State CX Championship in Hermann. We'll be the ones getting our wrists snapped, and then drinking PBRs. Come get one!

-C.F. Ryback

5 comments:

Marc said...

slow day at the shop, eh?

Sandbox/Gino said...

Shouldn't that be "typical day at the shop, eh?"?

Marc said...

touche, Greg.

TK said...

top ten posts, easily. this is a must read for all cyclists.

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