From the Team Seagal Random Shit Dept.

This isn't a doctored photo in any way.
Since when do they make speed limit signs that don't end in 5 or 0? What's next, mile markers every 1/1000th of a mile?

-C. Ryback



Limecat is just stopping by to say "Good Luck" to Gino and Nico on their treacherous trip this weekend into the depths of Ohio to race in the Mohican 100.

Good luck!

-C. Ryback


This Just In

We at Team Seagal just received news that PCP makes you super strong. In order to get to where we need to be this season, we've decided to start smoking it. A lot of it.

Our good buddy Vlad demostrates:

Welcome to Flavor Country.


Ride Report from Council Bluff

Greetings, loyal Team Seagal Fan! Days off don't come around very often. That's why when you are presented with one, you grab that crap like it was your heart during a heart attack. And on a sunny Sunday like we had this weekend in Missouri, with temps nearing 80 degrees, four representatives from our team found themselves in that very situation. The choices for Mason Storm and yours truly (Casey Ryback) were

1) drive the 6-ish hours to Lake Geneva, WI for the WORS event called "Treadfest,"
2) drive 5-ish hours to race in the first Heartland XC Race this year, to be held at St. Joseph, MO, or
3) engage in some epic riding less than 2 hours away from home at the world-famous Council Bluff trail, which will have us meeting up with our two teammates, Gino Felino and Cockpuncher.

Given gas prices and questionable trail/weather conditions at the venue in Lake Geneva, the primary use of which being a ski resort, we decided to stay local. I mean, the WORS site described the trail as "99.9% snow free." That may be so, but the thought of any snow at all in May is bullshit. More race experience would be a good thing for sure, but so would some epic riding at familiar trails that are within close proximity to the best Mexican restaurant in the state - Dos Primos. So Council Bluff it was.

The plan was to camp Sat night at the campgrounds, get in a lap before Gino and the 'Puncher got there. For those of you that have never made the trek from St. Louis to Council Bluff, you will most likely take 21 for most of the way. This road never ceases to entertain. Things like the tiny porn shack or the pile of rubble just outside of Potosi that used to be a building until a tornado knocked it down 5 years ago but the rubble is still there. This time, our favorite sight was probably the ominous molester van parked outside of Country Mart:

Pay close attention to the hood for maximum effect:

One of the great things about this trail is that unless there is a race in progress, it is very serene and secluded. Waking up in the middle of the night there was not a sound to be heard outside - perfectly still except for a pack of wolves howling in the distance. There were actually a lot of occupied campsite with mountain bikes, but we still only saw 2 groups of riders all day Sunday. Try that at Castlewood. The lake looked beautiful, as usual:

However, this trail's reputation for being supremely resistant to weather was somewhat tarnished today thanks to the wettest year for Missouri in recorded history. Soupy low spots, high creeks draining into a high lake, and long mud pits made for a very messy ride. Thank god I brought extra socks!

Mason demonstrates how to look good in our new kits even when hitting a wet stream:

Dead-fall was fairly minimal, though there were 2 or 3 chain-saw jobs:

Even though it was more messy than any of us had even ridden (except for Gino's 2nd place finish at Rim Wrecker in March, where the rain was coming down, and the trail was flowing - with water) the clean sections of trail ripped as usual, and made us feel like we were on a bmx pump track much of the time. The climb up to the campgrounds seemed to hurt even worse than at Burnin, though! Maybe it was the lack of a boombox at the bottom of the climb blasting out "Welcome to the Jungle" that made it seem worse?

The view from the dam is most excellent:

After two hard laps, the siren song of Dos Primos was too sweet to ignore any longer. Gino, CP, Mason and myself packed up camp and headed for some much earned Negro Modelo, Chili Verde, Carte Blanca, and Enchiladas Supremas. CP seemed a little unsure about it, as he had had a rough two days full of PBR, tequila, hangovers, and strenuous riding in the heat. In the end we all triumphed, and headed home to

Trifecta tomorrow...

-C. Ryback

P.S. - Stay tuned for info about the next Non-Race. We're working out personnel details.


NORBA #3 - A few Castlewood teaser pictures, and other photos

Greetings, Casey Ryback here. Saturday at Castlewood was the sight of many epic battles for what is essentially the premier NORBA race of the year. Four of our hardened soldiers (Shop Minister, Dr. Wesley McLaren, Nico Toscani, and Mason Storm) were deployed to the front lines of the Singlespeed class in search of victory slathered in glory. I, Casey Ryback, being the "responsible adult" that I am, was forced to work that day, but I did stay long enough to snap a few photos of the start of the race.

There was a huge number of racers overall - 136! - and for us to have another podium finish is HUGE! The Singlespeed class of 12 was, well, stacked. Of course Matt Keeven took first - the only way he can lose this series is if he stopped showing up. I'm convinced it is the baller-tastic white rims that match his white frame and white kit. Second was Mike Barrow, with the 3rd place taken up by our own Shop Minister! Nico took 5th, Mason 10th. Dr. Wesley McLaren must have gotten too awesome for his frame, for it went snap.

In addition to the racers at this event were also a number of spectators to this glorious sport, AND our local Pabst rep, Dave Aholt who deserves a BIG thanks for supplying the tent and all the cold PBRs! He was amazed with the turnout to say the least. Dave and PBR have been super-supportive of what we're trying to do, and we hope to try expand our relationship with them for future events! He also managed to snap a bunch of photos, which we'll post up as soon as we get a hold of them.

Shop Minister shows the proper way to position your body when talking to anyone:

Nico proves that our new kits look better than everyone else's even when having just pissed in the woods:

What a great place to spectate:
Huge sport class - notice the Wheels West jersey:

Since mountain bike racing is ALL about the looks, I'll say that Team Seagal looked pretty f***cking good on the line:

More reports to come from people that actually took part in the race.

Chris Ploch and Dave Breslin showed everyone just what a close, hard-fought XC race is supposed to look like - what an epic battle of the local mtb-ing gods!

Big congrats to Marshall Lawson who FINALLY made it through a race this year without having some sort of massively expensive mechanical failure, and managed to cross the line with Bob Arnold in the expert class! He showed everybody that when his stuff works as it should, he definitely deserves to be racing expert class.

In other news, look at my new rig:

I keep the size sticker on there so you know how huge I am. As shown in the photo, it is 23lbs 11 oz, though I expect it to drop once I put on the race tires and my super-baller hollow-link/hollow-pin gold chain!

Lastly, when you watch the movie On Deadly Ground, you will see this great image (sorry for poor picture quality):
That photo is amazing on SO many levels.

Oh yeah, I'm free on thursday and Sunday - Heartland Race in St. Joseph, MO on Sunday; the more people go, the cheaper the gas! Who wants to do a long ride on thursday? I'm thinking Middlefork or a trifecta... This is an open invitation...

-C. Ryback


The Only Way To Go

If the wrist-snappage during a given race becomes too much for me and I my t'aint implodes in on itself, thus killing me, I want to be buried in this casket. Too bad it's not original anymore, though...

Maybe a Pabst Light casket? Or perhaps a Stag casket...

-C. Ryback


Syllamo's Revenge: Shotguns, Rifles, Handguns, Ammo, 68 Camaro

Mason, Nico, and myself Gino made our way down to Mountain View, Arkansas this past Friday for what is one of the most badass races any of of us have been to: Syllamo's Revenge. The drive down is simply awesome escpecially once south of the border into Arkansas on Hwy 9. That is unless a storm is a brewin' inside of Mason for all of his other unknowing fellow passengers to experience:

But the scenery on those roads is unbelievable, with more twists and turns than most singletrack. As Little Buddy said, you gotta do all you can to keep your tires on the pavement. Fortunately Team Seagal's racecar driver wannabe Casey Ryback wasn't there or else we might have ended up a few hundred feet down a cliff on the drive instead of slicing our way through sweet singletrack on the way to some mega wrist-snappage.

A little PBR-infused preride on Friday evening to test out the starting .9 mile 11% climb and the stellar first few miles of singletrack, a meal at the largest Mexican restaurant any of us had seen with the worst service ever, and a good nights sleep in our hotel, and we were ready for the 8am start.

The race started with about 280 or so racers trying to get up that Forest Service road climb. It wasn't pretty for non-Team Seagal members. Our fellow racers were getting their wrists snapped less half a mile into the race. I'm damn glad I can trackstand. I got to watch a half a dozen riders fall down around me to give me a path to make my way to the top. Weaving our way among the slow toppling-over riders Nico and I made our way to the top entering the singletrack in the 20s right behind fellow STL singlespeeder Carey Edwards. Mason came up just a little behind picking his way through the stumbling riders using his aikido-heightened reaction time.

Things quickly changed for me as Nico, Mason, and a hundred others passed me as I got a flat less than 2 miles into the race. I spent the next couple of hours picking my way among the slower riders at the back of the pack eventually catching Mason, and Nico, and passing mechanically tormented DRJers Dwayne and Robert (Marshall). Dwayne was of course smiling.

This trail system is truly inspiring with awesome views, incredibly flowy singletrack, some damn rocky technical stuff on the blue loop, and some big stream crossings where Mason saw another rider go COMPLETELY underwater. In the end we all charged through the course making our goals. I got 30th overall, at about 5:50 still feeling pretty damn good and even better after a nice cold PBR. Nico was right behind at 31st after he broke his chain and ran the last 2 miles on his zerospeed, and Mason got in well under 8 hours. We're still awaiting the posted results for singlespeed placings.

Mason does an excellent job of not looking too tired while modeling the new team kit:

Syllamo's 2008 was the day that singlespeeders came out to represent. The top 4 overall (at least) were all singlespeeders with St. Louis's own Matt Keevan leading the way at a time of about 4:45 on the muddy and slippery course. Even Chris Ploch was amazed:

Or at least shocked at the ton of rock he got as a trophy for his age group.

Matt Keeven carrying away his first of 2 tons of rock:

Yes that is what you think you see on his T-shirt.

Keep checking back as Mason or Nico might add their own mind spew to this posting about the totally un-gayzorz 2008 Syllamo's Revenge.




To end this post in style here is Nico Toscani's left cheek after a bit of a tumble out on course. Enjoy.

UPDATE the results have been posted.