'Spent Two Days Down South on HWY-DD

Buenos tardes amigo, Hola my good friend. Nico Toscani here everybody. March in the Belgian beer capital of the world can be tricky to figure out. Because we're lucky (as we can be sometimes), or just handy with the Yak Semen, a most excellent weather window began to take shape directly in the middle of this work week. Wednesday and Thursday promised an un-seasonly break from winterly conditions and I was uniquely positioned to take full-advantage of both days.

Wednesday was the sloppier day by far. A fine group of comrades gathered to trade battle secrets in a Team Seagal / Mesa Cycles combo assault on the venerable Council Bluff Trail, found directly off of HWY DD in south-eastern Missouri. The 12+ mile loop is famously impervious to all varietals of moisture no matter which is on the forecast...so we all thought until yesterday. Early Spring thaw produced a rather tender situation on a good portion of this otherwise supremely buff trail. If riding clockwise ala Rim Wrecker, you will find the 4+ mile section of trail stretching from the Enough Boat Launch Site to the footbridge intersecting the Trace Creek / MiddleFork Spur offensive in many ways. Trail surface that belongs on the trail is deposited all over your bicycle and person when you ride this section. There are big rocks that get in the way and if Furby was there he'd probably be bad-mouthing you or making you look at pictures of his mini-hearse. Despite this, two bad-ass Rim-Wrecker laps were crushed with fury. Crushing of items continued when we stopped at Dos Primos afterwards and saw "Enchiladas YoLandas" written on the weekly specials board. Holy-Shit. After dinner, Coach took a pen from his pocket and began to draw on the top of his white styrofoam to-go box. Among other things, a male stick-figure with breasts appeared from the pen in his hand - this signaled the appropriate departure time for the Mesa Crew. 4+ hours spent in the car, 25 or so off-road miles done and done.

Thursday was cloudier but warmer and so much nicer overall. The home office of Wesley McLaren, M.D. was the first stop of the day, it was less then 9:00am when we departed together for a certain small gravel lot located near the the intersection of HWY DD and 32 in South-Eastern Missouri. We suited up and took off on the fantastic MiddleFork Section of the Ozark Trail. The temperature was 58 degrees or so when we left the car, it was well before high-noon. The Dr. and I found terrific trail conditions and proceeded to treat all climbs and descents encountered like our very own tiny fe-male dogs. We rode approx 20 miles out on MiddleFork to the big creek and turned around and rode back. I kept a totally steady pace that stayed well south of bonkville. The Dr. tested his race engines and crushed it both directions. Here are the photos documenting today, Thursday March 5, 2009 which included 5,000 feet of climbing and another 4+ hours in the car.

Thanks for stopping by, we hope to see you all again real soon.

-Nico Toscani


Sandbox/Gino said...

Coach does possess many a skillset that he can use to make people leave a room.

CockPuncher said...

The sepia toned photo of the good doctor is now gracing the desktop background of my intertubes viewer. The bocomo TS wanna-be & I are heading down to CB tomorrow. Perhaps Middlefork is the better choice. We shall put the crush to Dos Primos post ride....CockPuncher

Casey Ryback said...

Gino is correct in stating my many room-clearing skills.
1)SBD (silent but deadly)
2)perversions of the mind, most likely stemming from winters spent working at the TC Man with Robort
3)"blue" jokes
4)a collection of music that most people think is simply recordings of voice-boxes passing through garbage disposals

Seriously though, I'm one jealous sonofabitch. When do I get to ride Middlefork?

Davey B said...

good post and rad pictures!

Mitch the Masher said...


DA9DR's Amazing Blog said...

Coach is perhaps almost as deadly as his namesake in Under Siege, certainly Team Seagal's most dangerous weapon.

Nice choice of safe for work desk top background puncher, you are truly a man of sophisticated taste. I hope that you and Todd's mustache are enjoying the pristine Middlefork conditions as I write this. Ya'll a bunch of bitches.

Brian said...

Coach Furby here. I'm sorry about the tough love I gave your boys on my WEBPAGE. It was intended as constructive criticism.

Your young soldiers have much to learn about maximum achievable velocity where loss of altitude is concerned, but who doesn't? (Other than Energor)

By the way, life is incomplete until you've owned a mini-hearse.

Living a Lie said...

Sick work on the Middlefork. I think it is the best trail around here. If conditions allow, I would like to give it a run on Wed.

Chris Wurster said...

Nico, you look a bit surprised in the portrait, I sense someone caught in the act of sacrifing gogi berries.