We interrupt your scheduled ogling of Tropical Storm Mason's gorgeous Kona Major One (one of the first in existence, I might add) to bring you this exclusive interview with "Clubber" Lang, played by the notoriously-badass Mr. T. We send an correspondent to ask him about this Sunday's Singlespeed race, to be held at Binder Lake in Jeff City. The correspondent, though, has this thing though where he calls races "fights." Clubber puts it well:
This Sunday, the Party People at Red Wheels Bicycles are throwing a party, I mean a MIDWEST SINGLESPEED CHAMPIONSHIPS at their beloved trail system at Binder Lake. Come see our very own Forrest Taft get his mountain bike racing cherry popped! He's no stranger to competition though, as he has been busy snapping wrists under the radar this year at Penrose Park on his Kona Paddywagon. Better protect your wrists.
See this poster (found at howtoavoidthebummerlife):
Complaining about a lack of mountain bike races? Tired of those roadie chumps having all the fun of having 2-3 races a week in which to participate? Come to Jeff City on Sunday. Seriously man, what else will you be doing - watching 7th Heaven reruns? You dork...
And after all this fun business at Binder is over with, make sure to remember to show up to the Short Track races every thursday in July! It's all the pain and suffering of CX, only with 90+ degree heat instead of toe-numbing cold. Oh, and no whining roadies show up to the Dirt Crits. Seriously, I'm in terrible shape AND my bike is over 20 years old - but I'll be racing. What's your excuse?
-Casey F. Ryback