20090603

Wilson Lake, Kansas Ride Report - There IS riding in KS!

Greetings loyal Team Seagal Fan! I have been in teh middle of an unfortunate racing-drought as of late, mostly due to a fairly shitty work schedule. Fortunately, I actually DO have a work schedule, unlike many people these days. My only days off are during the week, so I have to jump at any chance I get to ride new places. This past Monday, I had the opportunity to get introduced to a new trail system with an old college riding buddy. And if there's one thing I enjoy, it's getting the opportunity to snap moar wrists in other parts of the country.

My buddy (who lives in KC) calls up and says "I have the day off, and we're going deep into the depths of Kansas to do some badass riding."
"Waaa...But Dude, I only have a day off, and that is like 8 hours (one-way) away! Waaa..." I replied.
"Shut your goddamned mouth and pack your shit. We're going."
"Yes sir."

Once you get to Wilson Lake, it is just as far to go to the Rocky Mountains as it would be to get back to St. Louis. It's a little tempting as you're getting ready to head home.

So this would afford me a chance to finally get to ride my new baller-ass cranks:

Next up, a headbadge made out of diamonds, or maybe a hot midget for a saddle.

In a nutshell: This trail is laid out around a small corner of Wilson Lake, which is huge. There is a 15 mile main loop, with several bail-out options for those who only feast on weak sauce. Very easily singlespeed-able, with huge amounts of awesome available at each turn. There's a handful of super-fun technical sections that make you want to get off your bike and try it again multiple times, even though it is a mostly fast, flowy trail.

Some photos taken on/of the trail:







Two photos taken of the same section of trail, from different points of view (open full-res for full effect):



Some more shots:

I nearly ran over about 20 of this little dude's brothers and sisters (look carefully):
If you're wondering what my facial expression looks like when I'm sharting (not that I ever have) it probably resembles this one pretty closely:



Did I mention who is a major creator/caretaker of this system? One Mr. Doug Chambers, whom we met and spoke with on the trail - super friendly dude who was giddy with excitement that out-of-towners were riding his trail. Arrow points to him:

This trail was a fuck-ton of fun. I think I know why Doug Chamber's son, Cameron, is so unbe-fucking-leivably fast - he always has a trail like this to ride. If I had easier access to this place, I'm fairly sure that I'd be on the mountain bike a little moar often, especially since they don't see much rain there. Shit, here in St Louis our trails get more year precipitation simply in the form of tears from people crying about cancelled races than Wilson Lake gets in actual yearly rain.

We rode for hours, got super sunburnt, and returned to the car nearly out of water. Then it was off to Denny's, though we did discuss the possibility of making the drive to Dos Primos. The fun factor on this trail is through the roof.

My day was nearly spoiled at the gas station though, when I happened to lay eyes on this piece of shit redneck truck with the testicles (or "truck-sticles" as a friend of mine puts it) on the bumper:If you have these on your truck/car, you should know that YOU are the reason why hamsters eat their young - because hamster parents don't want their offspring to have a chance to somehow develop the ability to own a vehicle and attach these things to the bumper. Let's think about this some more - ours is a society where you can't see breasts on TV, but you can see a big fucking nutsack on a bumper.

I was a little shaken up from the nutsack incident, but my day quickly turned around when I coincidentally came across an interesting warning label on my jar of peanuts. I was relieved because it looks like the good people at Kraft are doing what they can to keep Robort from causing more damage:

Let's recap: next time you are going through Kansas on your way to the mountains, take a few hours to ride Wilson Lake, since it is only like 10 minutes off Hwy 70.

In other news, coming up soon is the MWFTS race at Cosmopolitan Park in Columbia on the Rhett's Run trail. Sounds like there should be a great turnout. And don't forget - the Castlewood Dirt Crits are coming in July! BE THERE OR BE A SHITHEAD

-Casey Fucking Ryback

10 comments:

CockPuncher said...

That truck could teabag the shit out of a Miata! BTW, the new kits are bad-ass!!

Mason Storm said...

I saw a truck the other day with 3...yeah I said 3 sets of nuts hanging from the bumper....what a piece of shit that guy/gal must be! Those trails look so much like Fruta CO it's crazy!!!! I want to ride there.

Bob said...

I have actually rode at Wilson Lake. That place is very strange terrain with a couple decent grunt climbs. Also wasn't there like some big rock formation in the middle of the mess?

Chris Wurster said...

Those cranks are totally bling, you have to get the gold chain to go with them.

Dr Goscinski said...

C-Dubbs, the chain is totally gold. it doesn't shine as brightly as say the rims, seatclamp, bottle cages, chainring bolts, etc, but it's gold. Gold is the opposite of kryptonite to Coach, it is the source of all his power.
Sweet pics BTW, that place looks badass.

Anonymous said...

Yes Mr. Storm is correct, Fruta, CO was the first thought that came to my mind after looking at the pics. Wilson Lake would make for a great stop on your way to and from fruta.

Chris Wurster said...

Dr, I was so blinded by the brillance of the cranks that I failed to notice the thought and detail that has gone into the wrist snapping machine. Was Mr. Ryback sporting the heavy gold chain with the "SEAGAL" name around his neck during the ride?

Dr Goscinski said...

With iced out knuckle rings on each hand, reading CSYFN RYBACK. Baller

Chris Wurster said...

Yeah knuckle rings.....now that rocks

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