20091215

CXMAS CRUSHER

Ohhh noo! There's been an accident.

Looks like a......



Is that a......



....Fuji?



No way Mayne....



thats a Kona.





CXMAS is drawering nearer and nearer. As you can see I, Nico Toscani, most certainly have my CXMAS ride totally dialed, and ready to CRUSH. I cant wait to be shoulder-to-shoulder with all you Jerks on the start line come high noon next Sunday. (Thats right, I do my killin' after breakfast.)

Under Gino's close supervision we have been pre-riding the course and making it more and even moar awesome with each passing day. You all seriously need to get ready. Finalize your battle plans! Flush all of the sand from your tainted under-carriages and let it fall to the Earth! Prepare for yourself that dust-pan and trusty whisk-broom, have it ready to sweep up the pieces of your shattered mind after you've been administored just a single dose of CXMAS!

It has been said before and the author will now tell you again; the KEY to success in this endeavor is simply to make Gino Felino, Mr. Race Director, a happy man. Please him with your feats of strength and Superior Attitudiness and you might be rewarded. Shit, Coarach may even mention you in his simply fabulous, rha-hyming, 2009 CXMAS Re-Cap Poem. That would be sweet. Refer to Crotch's 2008 CXMAS Re-Cap Poem for examples of such Superiority.

Thanks for stopping by, you all really are some beautiful people.

-Nico Toscani

15 comments:

Chris Wurster said...

That really looked like one of the Fuji's Coach described on Kankle Power

Casey Ryback said...

i know, it looked like a fuji that was full of mich ultra.

I'd like to add that Mitch the Mashor and Jeremy Bock were also out there today, doing secret CXmas recon, and the three of them all crush my soul. I hadn't a chance.

fuckers.

Anonymous said...

what would be a good SS gear for this superfun ride? My 32-18 might be a bit like spinning class. Thinkin 36 X 16 w/ 29ers.

Scott

Anonymous said...

No rear brakes Nico? You BADASS.

Mason Storm said...

"Good Omelet", shit Nicorn you could teach omelet 101 at le'cule culinare' next semester! Holy shit you I'm hungry now. That ride is "fixed" making it even moar badass. Cxmas is almost here.

Doctor said...

A fixed CXMAS? Has Indiana Toscani gone mad? Toscani does make a good omelet, but I make a better one. Energor has smiled upon you all.
Dr.


PS. Any of you jerks interested in the KONA 24hrs of Old Pueblo in Feb. Tucson isn't far from my present location. Think about it.

Chris Wurster said...

Nico Toscani now taking it to a new level with the fixie. You are one badass dude, my knees feel your pain.

Sandbox/Gino said...

36-16 is a good choice. On a 29er anything 2-1 to in that range should work. Something in the 60s for gear inches.

Nicorn also makes delicious breakfast burritos and sandwiches. He seems to be a master of all things breakfast.

Brian said...

I thought that was a fuji worthy of such Internet classics as, "Two Girls and a Cup." But it was just a bunch of mud. Norcorn is my hero.

That was me pouring your eggnog last year! I made sure every cup was completely full. I hope you all enjoyed it.

Who wants to slam down cups full of porn star excrement this year? Okay, maybe not. I think hard liquor should be doled out instead of eggnog, but I'm sure our hero Gino has the race planned already. Cups full of Chinese herbs would also be awesome.

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Boob Jorkins said...

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See you doodz on Sunday

Mitch the Masher said...

Nico is the fucking man! It took EVERYTHING I had to stay with him. Watching him ride down that quarry hill on his fixie sans a rear brake....HOLY SHIT! I can tell you my ass is still slammed shut from the first time I flew down it on the cross bike.

It's goin' to be schloppy!

Chris Wurster said...

AimTrust sounds like a load of Fuji

Mitch the Masher said...

You guys gotta get one of those verifiers with the fucked up letters.

Mitch the Masher said...

BTW, I wish I could let my bike shit in the living room. I'd be the dood in Misery getting the baseball bat treatment if I did that.