Dirt Crits #3 - Someone Brought the Heat

Greetings Team Seagal Tifosi! We may have deployed three soldiers in to the heat of WEMS battle this weekend for the Levis Trow WEMS race, but we also had 5 soldiers kicking ass and chewing bubble gum this past Thursday at the Castlewood Dirt Crits. Oh man, it was truly a pain train of TC Man Proportions. Last week was definitely a slip-sliding, Tokyo-drifting good time, while this week was equally as painful but less moisture on the ground.

The course was dry - almost dusty, and the racing was intense. The turns were hooked up. Someone lost a bottle near the bridge and never figured it out. The tube steaks were delicious, as was the wedding cake courtesy of Thrasher's wife.

I came to the line amongst a massive A class, looked around, and saw a bunch of intimidating jerks around me. Then I look to my rear, and see the one, the only Santa Boz making a sneaky appearance. But don't tell anyone - he's retired. This isn't a comeback. Anyway, the starting gun had us going Mark-Renshaw style for the gradual S-turns hole-funnel.

I must say that I've never seen so many people flat out of a Dirt Crit - left and right dudes were dropping out. Peat Henry beat lots of people, fresh off his sport-class win this past weekend down in Springfield. He's lucky that they don't test for beard-doping, because if they did, he'd be DQ'd faster than a helmet-less racer getting caught by Buddy pre-race.

Our very own Professor continues to impress everyone, and brought home a very close 2nd place to the infamous Eric Pirtle, in a epic battle to the line that was worthy of a greek epic! Nosed out by a wHeel. Gino had a much better start this week which put him in a more proper group with whom to be grappling for placement. I found the pace to be extremely high right off the bat, with no real chance to postpone the high efforts, so when the time came to trade blows, I had to just keep it on cruise control and tick off laps in no-man's land. It was good to see that Jame Nelson's foot is totally healed after his try to hand me a PBR last season and breaking it in the process - so he repays me by passing the shit out of me. Saying that "CFR had a strong finish this week!" would be like saying "Michelob Ultra is a satisfying and delicious beer for the discerning beer consumer."

Ms. Petrosevich crushed it today despite wearing hot cotton tube socks. Her partner in crime, Lawman, found a spot of bad luck with the handlebars and seatpost on his hybrid in the B Race, so he had to pull out like a Catholic, and try again in the C-race amidst cries from his loyal teammates of "Sandbagger!" All was good as we had fun times afterwards.

These Crits are growing in popularity/awesomeness as fast as this guy's waistline is growing in size:

In other news, stay tuned for news about the Chorbb Chorllenge. It is in the works, we swear.

-Casey F. Ryback

p.s. Not my photos here


CockPuncher said...

Man. You are all jerks. Jerks, I tell you. Put some miles on the Major One in Madison, WI today w/ a pitstop at the Ale Asylum. Hopalicious, indeed. Fuck all this travel SHIT. BTW, saw Peat out in Wildwood on Saturday crushing a fixie ride. Good one ya!

Mitch the Masher said...

After spending precious time watching that video, I found this!