Burnin', Cross, and Beyond

So all this excitement about the onset of the cross season and of course the most important mountain bike race of the year - Burnin' - has got me all hot and bothered. And Jerkward and I, as we were in the midst of a triple Council Bluff lap the other day, were discussing how wide open the 12hr Solo Men catagory is - a lot of contenders (depending on who shows up) who all have results to back them up. Who will it be, Previous winner Mitch the Mash0r, and his aerodynamic melon? Previous winner Zach Brace and his 26" wheels? Todd Holtmann and his recent 2nd place finish at the 24 Hours of Dino? Previous winner D-Wayne and his inability to frown? Zdenek Plschahdfhsfggck and his recent victory at RIM? Brian Busken and his singlespeed full suspension? Greg Ott with his, uh, eyeglasses? Or perhaps our very own Nico Toscani and his painfully extensive Phish concerts on his iPod? Will previous winner STLPAF Davey B take it with his new-found affinity for big wheels? Or maybe even previous winner Chris Ploch, even though he hasn't done the 12hr Solo thing for a while? Will KC actually show up? Will Mr. Jenkins once again be a an all-around badass? Will Scooter stay relatively sober the night before? And will Crazy Jim come down for a rematch?

Who will it be? Perhaps a "dark horse" candidate will emerge from the fog of the 9AM campground start line, ready to wreak havoc on our minds, and be the first person to actually get that mythical 10th lap? Will someone else break the sub-hour lap barrier? (Perhaps Shottler?) They had just better come prepared, and with a beard, because Council Bluff is a rough course, no matter how you look at it. The potential for a snapped wrist is very high. This isn't the place where bring your 400 gram semi-slick tires and carbon saddle and expect to crush out a ridiculous lap.

As for the 12 hr Solo Women? That's an easy one. My money is on our very own Sasha Petrosevich to defend her highly-prized Buckle from last year. Her mental fortitude is like in Rocky IV - "like a piece of iron." No doubt.

And now that CX is starting up, and the start times are back to what they were last year, and all this flurry of excitement is brewing, it's just got me thinking about my balls:

Start getting excited, you jerks!

-Casey F. Ryback


Scott said...

I am on a team this year, Jerk. Bringing back the SS... I think I am third man out which give me plenty of time to sober up.
Are your balls clean? Mine are.

Sasha Petrosevitch said...

Keep a watchful eye on the 'underdog'. SEVEN is the lucky number. And I clean my balls daily

~Bob said...

Even though I was forced to watch the video from a public library without sound, it was strangely arousing.

CockPuncher said...

The Gods are smiling on me as I have, as of Tuesday, quit my job. I will be starting a new/old one (complete w/ 25 mile RT commute!!) on 10/4. I have secured the hall pass for Burnin' motherfuckers. It's been Sixteen Days without a drop of liquor or beer and my bloodsugar's looking better (praise Energor). I can't fucking wait 'til Burnin'! It is going to be moar amazinger than the last three!!!!!

Casey Ryback said...

Damn, 'Punchor! I hope this is the better path for you - either way, the only path we will be traveling will be the one that leads us into glory on October 9th.

Doctor said...

You fugging Jerks. I am excited and I am not even going to be able to make it this year. Snap a wrist for me. Jerks.


PS. There is no test for beard EPO yet. Or yak semen.

New East Coast Syndicate said...

Sounds like next year will be a must to make an attempt to ride Burnin', Doctor you going to be there for 2011?

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