2 Days of CX This weekend?

"But cyclocross is really hard! I'm going to get sore from racing TWO days in a row. And what if I do what I always do and race 2 races each day? Then it'll be EXTRA hard for me! My taint is going to get extra pummeled and will be more sore than usual, which will make it even more tough for me when I go to that dudes-only bathhouse". WWWAAAAAHHHHHH. Greetings, Team Seagal fans. Yes, these are the complaints about having more than once day of racing in a row. We've all heard people around us spouting off this tripe before. At least these will both be day races, so there won't be complaints about the lack of lighting.

These are the same people that, when attending a death metal concert, stand on the edge of the mosh pit holding their beer, and then get super pissed off when the pit-fury, much like the tasmanian devil, sucks him in and he loses his beer all over himself and the floor. He then tries to get the bartender to give him a free beer to which the surly death metal bartender rightfully says "Go suck the shit off of a dead man's ass." Am I right?

Anyway, so we were talking about cyclocross. I have it on good source that Concordia Seminary is going to be turned from a place of God, worship and learning into pure hell come saturday. There has even been talk of a "blood pit" rather than a mud pit. At least blood is water soluble. Key things to watch out for this saturday include unleashing of all hate and hellfire. Tie all of this into a totally fresh course on Sunday at Suson, and you will running around as spastically as Pacman:

-Casey F. Ryback


Brian said...

I've never heard anybody complain about having too many races available. But if they did, they would certainly deserve a kick in the crotch (gender non-specific).

If I don't beat every last member of Team Seagal at Concordia, you will probably catch me crying in my beer afterward. Feel free to kick it out of my hand. It will probably be better for my health.

God-fearing Furby.

Casey Ryback said...

I have heard people complain about how more than one day of races is really hard then they end up on them, but then they start making out with some dude, and they don't finish the sentence.

Brian said...

"I'm coming for you crotch!"

Probably one of the more disgusting things I've ever said in a race.

Congratulations, Team Seagal. I'm preparing a loaded toilet for one of your yards as we speak. You can thank me later.