20101103

Election Day Special-the results are in: Middlefork Still Rules!

Greetings fellow Team Seagal loyalists. Tuesday was a monumental day, for it marked the final day of heinous political ads that seemed to be everywhere--I mean, when you can't plug into Pandora(that one's for you Robort), or log onto a website without seeing the crap, something's got to give. So, when election day rolled around, I needed to vote. What was I, Jack Taggart to do on this day?
-1- Get up early, stand in line at the polls, and be late for work. Or,
-2- Plea for the day off, and go ride singletrack in the morning and early afternoon.
Faster than you can mutter the words 'dangling chad', Decision '10 was made: Thanks to a miracle at the workplace, I was headed to the DD parking lot early Tuesday to meet Nico Toscani, Mason Storm, our good buddy Josh, and whomever else chose to not flip between Wolf Blitzer and the 'What Not to Wear' marathon on Lifetime.
Upon my arrival it was immediately apparent that this ride would be no Tea Party, as John Matthews, along with Steve and his buddy Dave would make this ride a race:
Soon, Nico, Mason and Josh arrived and we began to get our minds, bikes, bodies, and most importantly t'aints ready for the epic journey that awaited. Nico Toscani, of course, was born ready:

Here, Mason goes thru his traditional pre-ride calisthenics routine, much to the amazement of Steve

Shortly thereafter, we were off to taste some of the sweetest singletrack around, at what is arguably the best time of the year to do so. There would be minimal 'mud-slinging', as the creeks were running but the trail was stellar! There were also no pollsters, posters, incumbents, or recumbents. About a mile into the ride my bike started sounding a bit crunchy--a quick chain fix and I was off again--for about a mile. Upon climbing the first significant stretch I realized I had a rear flat and yelled ahead. Steve heard me and waited at the top. That's when I realized I had a cut sidewall, which gave me the opportunity to use my:
Having used these on a customer's bike and knowing that J. Bock has had success with them, I knew they worked, but this was my first time trying them in the field. Steve watched in horror as I performed surgery with my sidewall with a strip of vulcanizing rubber and the world's smallest screwdriver. I prayed to Energor that my rash of mechanical misfortune would not cut my ride short, and a few descents later I was a believer-the tire was holding air and I was back fighting. Now the ride was kicking into full gear:

Steve, Josh and Dave


Steve shredding
Matthews
Nico and his Lynskey
Dave and his blaze-orange Vassago
Josh Picker
Tropical Storm Mason salutes the camera
Here is where my camera ejected my batteries for the forth time, prompting me to shove them back in and try to catch up. I must have put them in upside down or something for I was not able to later catch the moment at which Mason did a 'slow-speed endo', catching the attention of 'the governors'. Still, this assault on this amazing trail thru Missouri would stay the course, following the route of the MFXC campaign held earlier this year--and though the locals(as well as their dogs) must have all been out at the polls, we still were treated to some magnificent scenery along the fire roads-the leaves on the trees are on fire right now. We forged ahead, past the cemetery and the burned homestead, up the muthafucka gravel climb, and beyond until the last stretch of singletrack was chewed up and spat out and we all emerged victorious. I had to skip the victory party at Dos Primos, but I can only imagine how the car smelled on the ride back--one thing is for sure: this trail is superb right now and I would highly recommend making the trip. Until next time, I leave you with photographic evidence that I did not fake a flat, and that these tire plugs are the shit!! I also will guarantee that it will not be 2 more years until I make this journey. I am Jack Taggart, I am a Jerk, and I approved this blogpost.


8 comments:

New East Coast Syndicate said...

In honor of our founding father's I opt for the George Washington $1 bill to repair my sidewalls. Of course that also requires the Bill Clinton Tube and Obama pump to make it all work.

Casey Ryback said...

A fine report, from our very honorable Taggort. I wish I had been able to ride. I also wish I a computer!

Jerks!

Doctor said...

What a bunch of jerks. Fine work gentlemen!

Two things:
1. Is TSM's afro of the eastern philosophy variety?

2. Coach, you are not allowed to be a computer.

Nice Post Taggort!!

New East Coast Syndicate said...

Doctor, need an address to send you some Beer Cross swag. The influences of Team Seagal run far in wide in the United States and I am finally getting the jerks I ride with to understand what the mandate is all about.

t-tocS, scott backwards said...

Fine report Taggort!

Yes, Doctor, TSM's afro is a variety of a rare blend of many eastern philosophies. How is the zona?

All of you will forever be jerks!

Dan said...

The professor professes that fall is best. I like bikes.

Jerks.

CockPunchor said...

You are all JERKS, especially that John Matthews Jerk. You chose wisely, gentlemen. The polls were teh gayzors on Tuesday. That is where I spent the last mmmHorning of my vacation. I will be porst a glorious recap of my six straight days of Kentucky singletrack. Baller, indeed....PuncHor

1x1head said...

Middle Fork & Land Between. egads, jerks of the highest caliber! I shall ride Binder for the second time in a week. matthews=jerk, Middle Fork next weekend, anyone?