20120108

New Year's Resolution: Moar Middlefork

Greetings, Team Seagal Patriots! As stated before, this blog is primarily focused on education. Just ask our New East Coast Syndicate, who matriculated in our Jenkem Program recently. His studies have been very fruitful, and we consider him to be one of our most promising students.

This past Sunday, many of us received an education in how awesome the Middlefork Trail continues to be, especially both Showtime and BabyTitty who completed a hat-trick of Middleforks, wherein they did visited this most glorious trail 3 times in 3 days. There was to be several soldiers launching a full-fledged attack utilizing an attack party of myself, Nico, BabyTitty, Pry0r, Borskorn, Samuel Axel, It's Not Delivery, and my buddy Marc.

Reports were glowing, and the weather was excellent. My alarm went off around 7am, and as I sat up from bed I could literally feel something fall to the bottom inside my body, which prompted me to skip the rest of my morning routine until I had properly opened the bomb bay doors, and unleashed my devastating payload onto the small town of Toiletania. Fortunately for me though, the Geneva Convention does not apply in my bathroom.

We rolled down there a little past our planned meet-up time, but were on the trail ready to chase down all the other man-trains that were apparently choo-chooing down the trail, as evidenced by the packed DD/32 lot. Pizza time was even later than the rest of us, though we decided to shove off and except him to catch up, which he most certainly did.

Right away, the pace was not a relaxed one with Mr. Boyd and Nico driving the front. They are in good form currently, especially having ridden these parts the previous two days. Marc was hanging with them, though I found myself off the back after the first gravel road, having stopped to remove my outer shell. Out of sight from the rest of the crew, I tried to settle into a sustainable pace and enjoy the trail, which I certainly did. Even stopped to snap a photo of this tree: It looked to me like Criss Angel, while wearing a shirt with a boner on the front, was in heat, and he had been grinding himself all over this tree, since there were no little league teams around out in the woods. So he had to make do.

The trail was really in absolutely phenomenal shape - almost no debris or mud to speak of at all - it was almost as if Bob Jenkins had been meticulously down there preparing that trail for Cedar Cross as well. Rolling farther down the trail, I soon joined forces with Mr. Axel, Pry0r, and Borsken. Resting briefly at Barten Fen, we continued to roll down where we found tax dollars being put to good use with the paving of a 200-yd section of gravel road:


I also spent some time chasing Mr. Axel up some beautiful singletrack hills (you can just barely see his elbows):

We c-c-c-c-crushed out way onwards, drawing ever closer to Strother Creek. It was at that point, that our party split just slightly. Myself, S. Axel and Marc continued on the gravel, past Shasta, up the big hill, and on past the witness tree:


Finishing the last bit of gravel, we turned into the singletrack for the last time to ascend the last ~3 miles:



Rolling up the trail, my feet becoming quite chilly indeed, I was happy to complete another Middlefork loop with my brain fully intact. Got some awesome helmet-hair:

Nico, Boyd and Pizza Time, having taken the double-back route, took longer to finish up. We hung out, but the heat was steadily leaving our bodies, so we decided to head to Dos Primos where they could join us. In order to effectively communicate this, I left a note on Nico's car:Effective communication is the key to any relationship, whether that be with your significant other, or your team mate.

Dos Primos, as usual, was superb, however I was stunned as Nico, Gino-ward and Boyd did not join us. This is especially surprising, as Nico has been known to eat at Dos Primos upwards of 2 times a day for 2-3 days straight. These times, they are a changin'. http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif

A smooth trip home was very pleasing, as was the fancy beer that I had while relaxing at home:

I had to drink away my sorrows, because I realized I missed my chance at winning this item:
http://www.ebay.com/itm/Taxidermy-Wild-Grey-Amorous-Squirrels-/280661487228?pt=UK_Collectables_AnimalCollectables_SM&hash=item4158ba6e7c

-Casey F. Ryback

5 comments:

Orin Boyd said...

Is it illegal to say BabyTitty?!?!?! TripleFork was most amazOrs after taking care of lost chainring bolts from deployment on day two. Double-back was very gratuitous and rewarding!!!

FU

O "B.T." B

CockPunchor said...

You fucking jerks. mOrdle fork was amazors on day one of Baby Titty & Nicorn's journey, too. I love that you drew a picture of butt-sex, Crotch. Looks just like teh cock on my MFXC spoke card, btw. Well played. Fuck y'all!....PunchOr

New East Coast Syndicate said...

Well my education had to be put on hold, as did my tube set offerings to the great god Energor. I am so excited to now be the owner of Nickwad's Big Unit that my bowels have shut down in anticipation of the speeds I will be able to attain on the trails of MF.
Gino do me (no not in a Criss Angel way) right and build me up one kick ass wrist snapping TS machine for my adventures to Middle Fork and Counsel Bluff this coming year.

T. Scott said...

Holy shit!

Rasta Rider said...

you jerks better be ready for some courtois challenge again.