20130107

The Prodigal Doctor Returns

Greetings, Team Seagal Kameraden! Ach du lieber, wir waren uber geschaftigt! Our beloved and much-ballyhooed Doctor Wesley McLaren has come into town for the holidays and has been joined by the Mrs. McLaren!

Yes, we have great news, The Good Doctor pulled a holiday audible and has done gone and gotten himself hitched, according to the State of Missouri!
Harrumph and Congratulations!

What better way, then, to commemorate their glorious day and visit than a return to Team Seagal HQ - The Council Bluff Room. This would be a lap involving a trip to The Bluff as well. We loaded our landing party into the 'Stro and made our way down the road, making sure to slow down to the minimum required speed for an extra long look at our favorite billboard:
*photo from a previous trip.
I tell you, riding in that van I felt like a lone student of Chinese Language surrounded by tenured Chinese Professors. Before long, we were finding ourselves pulling into the Enough Lot, where we prepped ourselves for battle. Can you identify what pedal my comrade uses by looking at his footprint?


From Enough, we thought it best to take the double-track straight up to the top, where we would promptly blow Doctor's mind on this crisp, wintry day.



Up there I thought it fitting to open up the CXmas gift we received from Team Red Wheel, and share it properly. By the way, that may be the heaviest, thickest bottle I've ever seen.

Nico, making to mark his Favorite Tree, honorarily dubbed "The New Judgement Tree:"


A few more scrolls were translated from Mandarin into Jerk-enese, and after that we boarded the elevator back down to ground level:




After that descent, the palms of my hands were more chaffed than Criss Angel's palms the morning after he became a talent scout for preteen boys.


Continuing down the trail, we ran into Trail Bling himself accompanied by his better half, and after receiving a series of devastating heckles related to our riding skills, we pressed onto the beach, where we found some of his handiwork:
We really didn't do it this time!
We knew it wasn't ours because we would have made it bigger, in order for it to be a more accurate, realistic portrayal.

We crushed our way back to the 'Stro, where we reflected on a glorious ride. Doctor felt right at home, finding himself still quite honed-into the Bluff's particular required skillset. We loaded back up, and crushed the drive home, make sure to stop at one of the best QuickTrips - the Herke QT. There we found the best selection of beverages, and an even better selection of people to judge from the safety of the 'Stro.

*Notable milestone of this trip: educating Titty about the genesis of Energor. A smile was brought to his face.


Now here's a video, brought to you straight from Scooter. As you watch it, reflect on this week's "Tri-Ku's:"

I will never quit
Despite my gross lack of skills
The humanity

My sleeveless jersey
mated to my arm warmers
Just my shoulder tanned


-Sir Crotchington

10 comments:

CockPunchOr said...

motherfuckers! crotch, you were supposed to keep me in teh loop.

New East Coast Syndicate said...

Congrats Doctor, by the way the Spark' billboard is my favorite as well and I was briefed on the origins of Energor on my ride back to St Louis too. Jerks.

Casey Ryback said...

Sorry puncher! I mistakenly thought you were had decided to stay local and crush gf... My bad!

Cfr

Doctor said...

Even surrounded by such learn-ed scholars Crotch can't speak a word of chinese, but is fluent in Japanese. I don't understand it. Praise Energor, who by the way was never photographed and so, like mohammed may never be pictured. ever. Wish I had time to do more rides while I was there. Next time maybe I won't get married and I'll have more time.

Fuck you all very much,
DR 與邁凱倫母狗性交的衛斯理!

Anonymous said...

Yes, and as you said, also like Mohammed, we are Energor's prophets.

-cfr

Nico Goscinski said...

"just my shoulder tanned" Coratch, you make me laugh so hard. I will make it one of my goals for 2013 to achieve tanned shoulders just to return the favor.

CockPunchOr said...

Spinergies explode
aero bars, aero bottles
yard sale on pavement

road rash, tri-kini
a new PR dashed away
damn speedplay pedals

transition needs work
swim to bike to crash I go
i am iron man

Skeet Skeet said...

I suspect the accurate video I found will be used again for death by hills 2013...?

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