CXMAS Details aka The Jenk Cloud Has Lifted

After reconstructing Team Seagal HQ (fyi be very leary if Coach says he just wants to store a few jars at your place), the team was able to meet and we finally have ready the final details on CXMAS 2016 2017. Or at least the details we will tell you about here.

Start/Finish is in Glencoe, MO near the Wabash Mini Railroad
-Park in any of the lots down there. If things get full we'd recommend following the bike path up 109 to LaSalle Springs Middle School and parking there
-We'll be checking people in (ie taking money for raffle tickets) at the last lot on the left. Hopefully at one of the picnic tables

Sunday 1/1/17
-CXMAS rolls out around Noon
-We'll be set up ready to check people in around 11am
-We plan to stop checking people in at 11:45am, but we'll keep taking your money all day
-Mashor's Mile Crit starts about 2pm
-Plan to have drawing for prizes at 3:30 or so

-yep that says eventS. plural

Traditional CXMAS Nonrace
-We will have a special start to this years CXMAS. We ask that all previous podium finishers (those with CXMAS hats or mugs) make themselves known for this one. No, we won't be making Devin or anyone else ride a Huffy this year, but we do have a special event for the start I think everyone will enjoy.
-The course will be about 20 miles, and will include gravel, dirt tracks, pavement, some sand, some fresh barely ridden "trail" and maybe some proper singletrack. We're still waiting on the weather forecast to decide exactly where we will go.

Mile of Pain jungle CX/Crit Nonrace (aka Mashor's Mile)
-Everyone will get to ride this CXMAS special course for 1 lap during the main ride, but only the best will enter this nonrace. The top 10% of men and women (max 8 per gender) will square off in this elimination event. The rest of us will get to watch, heckle, drink and otherwise be a real bunch of jerks while they compete in 4 or 5 laps of this course. It seems a fair punishment for taking the first nonrace so seriously.
-We will even have a feed zone. But in this zone competitors are required to "feed" or risk elimination. A great spot to be a spectator. Feel free to bring feed items for the competitors.
-Male and female winners of this nonrace will be king and queen of CXMAS. Everyone else... well you just suck, but we'll have beer for you. Probably.

So this year might be the year that we could almost call it XCMAS instead of CXMAS.

On the main ride I really don't know which bike would be faster, Cyclocross or Mountain bike, but probably cx bike.

The crit nonrace could be different. A mountain bike will definitely have an edge in traction, stability, and control on the undulating and primitive course. A cyclocross bike will fit through the narrows and twisty turns better. It would also be easier to run with on some of the steep ups and when the person in front of you hops off. But the cross bike might be undertired in some of the bumpier sections and might fight for traction on the steeps. Sad to say, but if you singlespeed you will be running. A lot.

We'll give you cool shit (at least some of you):
First a reminder of who we're raising money for:
The Great Jerk, Dr Wesley McClaren

The suggested donation is $5 which will get you one entry in the raffle. For every $5 you give we'll give you another entry.

You can also win an extra entry. For the Mashor's Mile crit we will accept $5 donations with your guess as to who (man or woman) will win. Everyone that guesses correctly will get 2 raffle entries for that $5. The rest of you who guess wrong... well, thanks for donating. There is no limit on the number of guesses or riders you choose to back.

The Cool Shit:
-in case you missed it here are the things you could win (not counting a possibly hazy memory of riding around the Meramec floodplain with a bunch of other crazy jerks):

Kona Private Jake Frameset in your choice of size

1 of 3 $100 Gift Certificates to the Hub Bicycle Company

ENO Hammock kit, including 1 Double Nest Hammock, 1 Set of Atlas Straps, & 1 Set of Twilights

Limited Edition Made in the USA Woolrich/Dogfishhead Wool Blanket

1 of 2 Sets of 4 Woolrich/Dogfishhead Pint Glasses

1 of 2 Qikcovers

1 of 3 Entries to 2TG's Festivus CX Race

1 of 2 Entries to 2TG's Squealer or Pork Chop MTB race

Oskar Blues Prize Pack



Bonus points if you can find a blog from the links on the right updated in the last year. Or even 2 years. 


CXMAS 2016... Make that '17

Yeah it really is happening! Or at least we've been going around digging up the bloated carcasses of Team Seagal trying to get this CXMAS thing rolling. Turns out when you maintain a high level of drinking but stop riding bikes things go down hill pretty fast. Especially when you stop putting on Non-races and fill that time with art installations of empty beer cans and bottles. Those bottles and cans just don't empty themselves.

As with all art, sometimes the artistic merit is up for debate...

So if you want to see what jerks we've raised from the dead* or maybe ride some bikes with a bunch of other people you actually like, here's what you need to know:

We're moving from one scenic river valley to another.
Hello Meramec River!
OK. Probably not that brotastic and definitely not that part of the Meramec.

As of right now we plan to start at or near Sherman Beach. Start location may change to somewhere else in the general area so check back on our facebook page or this highly esteemed blog.

The route will travel up and down the river valley. We will decide the final route based on weather and trail conditions leading up to CXMAS. We will likely visit Castlewood, the Al Foster, some roads like St Paul and Ridge, and maybe Bluff View. Weather permitting there will be sections of smoothish singletrack and definitely dirt river flats. I've ridden everything on 28mm road tires, but like the guy reclining on the raft in the picture above, we can't all be that cool and you will likely want some sort of tire with minimal knobs and a little more volume.

WHERE: Sherman Beach Parking Lot (probably)
WHEN: Sunday January 1, 2017, NOON start


We will have the usual CXMAS things: eggnog, places to ride your bicycle, alcohol, and special prizes. But this year will be different in a couple of ways. We've raised money in the past for some great causes, but this year one of our own, a truly great jerk, needs our help.

The Doctor has a likely life long battle with seizures and the medical bills to prove it. Read the Doctors story here. Feel free to contribute right there if you'd like, but make sure to bring cash to CXMAS this year. For CXMAS 20167 CASH IS KING!
There will be a $5 required recommended donation. That donation will get you an entry in one of the prize drawings we will have. Bring more money though. We will have lots of other chances for you enter to win more chances and more drawings. Some prizes will be tied into other mini events within the larger CXMAS non race. BRING MORE MONEY! And don't expect us to have change. I recommend $5 bills, but if you're feeling baller we'll accept $20 bills. And if you just came back from an IL-side New Years, dollar bills will work. There is no way to win a prize without donating to a raffle.

So on 1/1/17, take some advil and come on out to Sherman Beach. We'll have the hair of the dog. And don't forgot to bring money. No matter what you donate it will still be the cheapest Doctor visit you've ever had.

Did I mention cash?

*And I'm sure you're excited to see your favorite jerks that you haven't seen in a long time, but these last few years haven't been kind to all of us...
Don't worry we actually all still look more or less lifelike with normal sized appendages.


Tap. Tap. This thing on??!?!?

Say what now???!!!!

1/1/17 NOON

CXMAS - The Hangover Edition

Stay tuned for more info on here or your favorite multi-hundred billion dollar social media platform*.

In the meantime start huffin and reminisce a little...

CXMAS 2013
CXMAS 2012
CXMAS 2011
CXMAS 2010
CXMAS 2009
CXMAS 2008

*that means you won't see a single tweet about this shit