AKA Coach, Coarch, Croach, Crotch, CFR, The UnFlushable Turd, "You Fucking Jerk"
"Ex-Navy Seal, expert in martial ars, explosives, weapons and tactics, Silver Star, Navy Cross, Purple Heart with Cluster"
AKA Ginz0rz, Gorg, Gregward, Huge Fucking Jerk, Digiorno, It's Not Delivery, Mayor McPizza Town, Pizza Time, Ginorm
"Richie: What are ya gonna do? Shoot me? I'm outta bullets!
Gino Felino: Nope, but you see those bullets could've saved you a lot of pain.
Richie: I like pain."
AKA The Tropical Storm, Tropical Mason Storm, Masson, Fucking Jerk, Mastadon Vocalist, Seriously - Fuck This Guy
“We’re out gunned and undermanned, but you know something? We’re going to Win, and I’ll tell you why. Superior Attitude…Superior State of Mind.”
AKA Jerk-Ass Jerk, T-Tocs
"My guy in D.C. tells me that we are not dealing with a student here, we’re dealing with the Professor. Any time the military has an operation that can’t fail, they call this guy in to train the troops, OK? He’s the kind of guy that would drink a gallon of gasoline so he could piss in your campfire! You could drop this guy off at the Arctic Circle wearing a pair of bikini underwear, without his toothbrush, and tomorrow afternoon he’s going to show up at your pool side with a million dollar smile and fist full of pesos. This guy’s a professional, you got me? If he reaches this rig, we’re all gonna be nothing but a big g*dd*mned hole right in the middle of Alaska. So let’s go find him and kill him and get rid of the son of a b*tch!"
"There's just two things you need to know about Lawson. One is, he's a bad mother fucker. And two, he's a bad mother fucker."
"I don't think you have the balls..."
AKA Team Trail Monstor
"I got everything under control. "
AKA Team Trail Monstor
AKA Old Timey Grifter
Lt. Col. Austin Travis
Dr. David Grant: If you don't believe me, what are you doing up here?
Lieutenant Colonel Austin Travis: Well... who the hell else is gonna do it... you?
AKA Jerkward, Nic-ward, Jerky, Jerk-scani, Showtime, Corn-Knee, Tapatio Doppleganger
"You don't wanna catch him without no gun... 'cuz what he do with his hands make bullet holes look pretty."
Dr. Wesley McLaren
AKA The Good Doctor, DA9SPDR, XTRDR, Jerktor, Fucking Jerk
"Call the next man on the list."
"There is no 'next man on the list.'"
AKA Professor, le Professeur, He Who Will Crush Your Soul
"There is no mirror, there is no dust, there is no darkness. Only the mind is light."
AKA Stove, Storve, Stoveward P. Stovington
AKA Taggort, Jerk Taggert
"I think you really deserve to suffer."
AKA Lurch, Borin Oyd, Master of Ancient Chinese Scroll Translation, Arm Baby, Leg Titty, ABLT, Sandwich, Titty
"What am I, a shit magnet?"
Harlan " EwwwwwWeeee" Banks
AKA Nad, Jerky McStore, Snurb
AKA Samuel "Schlomo" Axel
AKA Scooter, Scumbag Scooter
|(*not actually Seav0r)|
New East Coast Syndicate
AKA C-Dubs, C-Dorbs
Hap-less Victim #1