Hermann Cross - The Opposite of a Sharp Stick in the Eye!

Greetings Loyal Team Seagal Fans! It has been a while since we last spoke, I know. Don't think that isn't because we don't love you. Quite the opposite in fact. We love you a lot, like in a creepy mustache way. It also turns out that we love CX, in more of a self-hurt way. Going to a CX race is like going to a girl-fight - in other words, it's painful in an awesome way.

Hermann, MO seems to be well-entrenched in Missouri cycling. Tour of Missouri goes through there, as does the Tour/TT of Hermann, The Katy Trail connects to it, and Cyclocross seems to be a regular occurrence there as well. Saturday was the season-opener, taking place under cover of darkness and floodlights. It made photography extra difficult, at least, for someone like me with a point-n-shoot. Our own Mason Storm was participating in his first CX race evar, on his new Kona Jake the Snake that I must say, is looking quite baller. A few of us (Mrs. Storm, Mrs. Ryback, Marshall Lawson and I) went to cheer on our own teammate, and also to ring the shit out of our cowbells and scream at the top of our lungs to all of those poor bastards suffering on their bikes. And drink some beer.

I didn't get but a couple discernible shots of Mr.Storm:

After the 1st race were the supah-fast dudes, in a STACKED line-up:

Davey B looking pro-as-fuck, and ready to deliver a snapped wrist or two:

I'm not terribly sure who these dudes are, but it is the sharpest photo of all of them, and it is at the section that everyone seemed to think was the worst - a football-field-length mudbog that had a lot of racers stopping to ask all of the spectators for ninja swords with which they can commit Seppuku:

We met up with many fellow off-road racin' buds, DrewB, Mr. Keeven, Boz, Rich, Jesus, Christian, Zak, and many others. Operation "Spray Breslin with Beer" was in full swing, and I believe it was very successful. When not spraying beer, we were drinking it:

Big props go to Scott O. who seemed to be riding very strong as well in that supah-fast class. All gravel was accounted for after the race, which means that Mr. Hatch wasn't there.

I managed to get a video of the first lap of the advanced race, as they finished the stairs. Note the huge gap already developed by 1st and 2nd place over the rest of the field, even after less than one lap! Terrible quality, terrible resolution, but whaddya want - you probably weren't there!

Now everybody, don't go throwing away your mountain bike/hill bike in the dumpster just yet, you have to keep it at least for another couple of weeks for Burnin' at the Bluff! This year seems to be shaping up to be one of the biggest, best years yet for many reasons. Bring your friends and bring... stuff. It promises to be even better than Shamwow!

Burnin'..... Burnin'.... Burnin'... Burnin'.... Burnin'... Burnin'...

-C. Ryback


Chris Wurster said...

Need more cowbell in that video!

Davey B said...

i can't thank you fools enough for all the beer spraying support... i would have quit you weren't there.

where the hell did you go???

we ate at taco hell. my stomach hurt the whole ride home.

TeamSeagal said...

Looks like a great time! Now you guys could use all the sloppy weather we battled the whole mtb season.

Forest Taft said...

I quote (a section of the video).7 seconds in:

"Thats a fast fucking lap right there, GOD DAAAMN!"


"Son of a bitch."

C. Ryback

Creeptastified voice)"Son of a bitch!"

-C. Ryback

Boz said...

Rock Starz! You made us feel like Rock Starz I tell you. Thanks for coming out. I particularly liked the "welcome to Hell" yelling while we were riding/running the mud section. Well done.