Glorious Road/Gravel Ride of Our Lives

Greetings Loyal Team Seagal Fan! Since Seagal Soldiers do not require sleep, I spent the 4 O'Clock hour last night thinking about a possible ride for Great Justice. This is one that incorporates a number of other rides into one massive Omni-Ride of Destiny. It is one that is sure to strike fear into our t'aints and wrists.

-a bike that is vertically compliant on light gravel, while at the same time being torsionally and laterally stiff on pavement (i.e cross bike, road bike with 28's)
-plenty of food, water
-cash/plastic for food/lunch stops
-Superior Attitude, Superior State of mind
-warm clothing
-spare tubes
-a vagina de-sand-ifier, in case the distance gets to be too much for you

The route would entail us starting possibly some place near Forest Park or TC Man. We would set course for the Mississippi River Trail, and turn north. We'll continue through Alton, onto Grafton, and then cross the two river ferries into St. Charles. Turning south, we'll head for the Katy trail, which we'll then ride all the way out to Terry Road. (Terry Road, if you're not familiar, is a gravel road about 1-2 miles east of Klondike Park on the Katy.) Climbing up Terry, we'll turn right onto paved Duke Road. A few miles down, we'll turn right down the gravel Matson Hill and turn left back onto the Katy. We'll continue back to the Page Extension, and cross over through Creve Coeur Lake, and where we'll then blaze a merciless path of pestilence, death, and destruction back to the starting point.

I estimate the route to be roughly 150-160 miles long, with only 2 or 3 hills to plan for, and a few sections of challenging rollers (i.e. Duke Rd) though I haven't actually plotted out the route on Mapmyride or Google earth or anything. I would expect that we would have to depart and finish in the dark. The more the merrier on this ride for sure. Who would be interested in this?

Without the proper preparation and state of mind, you will be bound to:

-C. F. Ryback


Doctor Bitch! said...

I will be bringing a broom to sweep up the shattered remains of my mind and taint. You are a sick bastard coach.

TK said...


Marc said...

I suggest plotting stops at several coffee shops to A: warm up and 2: get a caffeine boost to finish this tour of pain

Boz said...

I'm getting my azz handed to me in Bubba cross, why not by Team Seagal as well????

Casey Ryback said...

Well, it would probably have to be before the time change, or maybe wait until next spring.


I'm not sure about any ass-handings on my part...

Mason Storm said...

Time change is in less than a week, so the spring makes the most sense to me. This will be a sweet ass ride....and by sweet I mean Robortion is GAY!

Boz said...

How 'bout it has to be done on singlespeeds or fixed gear road bikes, too????

Robert T. Metz said...

In need some wider tires for the road bitch

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