Greetings Loyal Team Seagal Fan! Cyclocross is the new mountain bike, and Pain is the new fun! Who'da thunk that a bunch of jackasses that snap wrists all day long on the "hill bike" would jump into CX season, only to mix it up with other like-minded individuals that snap wrists all day long on the road bike? And come to that, who'da thought that such a mild-mannered county park such as Suson Park, home of barnyard animals, a playground (and thus, Robort), would be the scene of such "Heinous Epicnicity?"
First, look at this ridiculous bunny-hopping sequence, starring God! I mean, Ryan Pirtle! Uphill! (Photo courtesy of our own CockPuncher)
Yours Truly's new rig, the HybloCross. Complete with factory sizing sticker (women's 20"), stem-mounted trigger shifter, factory pie plate, factory Altus brakes, and factory Altus cranks, and two-tone bar wrap. Concocted the day before the race:
Nico in the B Race is all smiles! (Courtesy of StLbiking, John Musselman)
Nico after the race - note the hair, that is trying to escape the helmet:
Lt. Col. Austin Travis not knowing pain (Courtesy of StLbiking, John Musselman):
The Doctor is throwing that bike like it was some Emo-bitch in a mosh pit (Courtesy of StLbiking, John Musselman):
Coach, able to lift the bike extra high with the lower top-tube (Courtesy of StLbiking, John Musselman):
CockPuncher with his pain-face on (Courtesy of StLbiking, John Musselman):
Man, why can't we take such badass photos? (Courtesy of StLbiking, John Musselman)
And the Mtb-Gods did battle (Courtesy of StLbiking, John Musselman):
Fallen Soldiers, though they gave their lives for a wonderful purpose (the beer hand-off, pictures to come soon):
I think a lot of people were hoping for more br00tal, grueling conditions, such as those seen at the 2007 MO CX Championships in Hermann. That would have been uber-Belgian, but it's not like the course wasn't already considered to be one of the hardest courses yet this year, what with the big climb, 3 barriers, and plenty of soft, energy-sapping ground.
So you'll be at Night-Cross at Creve Coeur, right? RIGHT? What are you planning on doing otherwise, sitting at home crying?
That's what I thought. See you there.
-C. F. Ryback