Bubba Cross at Suson - You need lights when you're that deep into the Pain Cave

Greetings Loyal Team Seagal Fan! Cyclocross is the new mountain bike, and Pain is the new fun! Who'da thunk that a bunch of jackasses that snap wrists all day long on the "hill bike" would jump into CX season, only to mix it up with other like-minded individuals that snap wrists all day long on the road bike? And come to that, who'da thought that such a mild-mannered county park such as Suson Park, home of barnyard animals, a playground (and thus, Robort), would be the scene of such "Heinous Epicnicity?"

First, look at this ridiculous bunny-hopping sequence, starring God! I mean, Ryan Pirtle! Uphill! (Photo courtesy of our own CockPuncher)

Yours Truly's new rig, the HybloCross. Complete with factory sizing sticker (women's 20"), stem-mounted trigger shifter, factory pie plate, factory Altus brakes, and factory Altus cranks, and two-tone bar wrap. Concocted the day before the race:

Nico in the B Race is all smiles! (Courtesy of StLbiking, John Musselman)

Nico after the race - note the hair, that is trying to escape the helmet:

Lt. Col. Austin Travis not knowing pain (Courtesy of StLbiking, John Musselman):

The Doctor is throwing that bike like it was some Emo-bitch in a mosh pit (Courtesy of StLbiking, John Musselman):

Coach, able to lift the bike extra high with the lower top-tube (Courtesy of StLbiking, John Musselman):

CockPuncher with his pain-face on (Courtesy of StLbiking, John Musselman):

Man, why can't we take such badass photos? (Courtesy of StLbiking, John Musselman)

And the Mtb-Gods did battle (Courtesy of StLbiking, John Musselman):

Fallen Soldiers, though they gave their lives for a wonderful purpose (the beer hand-off, pictures to come soon):

I think a lot of people were hoping for more br00tal, grueling conditions, such as those seen at the 2007 MO CX Championships in Hermann. That would have been uber-Belgian, but it's not like the course wasn't already considered to be one of the hardest courses yet this year, what with the big climb, 3 barriers, and plenty of soft, energy-sapping ground.

So you'll be at Night-Cross at Creve Coeur, right? RIGHT? What are you planning on doing otherwise, sitting at home crying?

That's what I thought. See you there.

-C. F. Ryback


Sandbox/Gino said...

Sweet, dueling posts. I think I have to give coach the win on this one.

Marc said...

A double-race report! Glorious! Also, y'all stink for "discovering" cx the year after I was doing it(by myself) and told you it was an awesorme pain-fest. Now I have moved away--jerks.
(double tear streaks down cheek in Dawson's Creek-like fashion)

Sandbox/Gino said...

Phase one of the tempt ministor back to STL plan has begun...

Doctor said...

Awesome race. Are your tears from riding cx in the great white north. Wasn't Dawson's creek filmed in the great white north. Robort the playground was packed.

Casey Ryback said...

I think phase 2 should be hiring David Byrne to do do daily shows at the TC MAN.

Davey B said...

did anyone notice my beer hand up to motivation ratio?

thank you guys for the beer but thank you more for the encouragement that made the hair stand up on my arms and made me feel PRO...

i felt a little sacrilegious throwing out the half empty beers but couldn't breath enough to chug it... it was for a good cause though.

Chris Wurster said...

Nico looks like he was having way too much fun. Perhaps a kick in the balls is in order.