Lost Valley Luau - Mind if we dance wif yo dates?

Hail to thee, the loyal fan of Team Seagal. The time has come to discuss the events and goings-ons of Sunday March 22, 2009. Some bad-ass dudes over at Mesa Cycles kicked off the 2009 Midwest Fat Tire Series off with some serious AUTHORITY. Fun was abound as excellent temperatures, ultra-stiff competition, and six cases of 16oz PBR's pushed the vibe sky-high at this year's Lost Valley Luau.

Troop deployment was quite deliberate, Seagal soldiers were distributed throughout the class rankings so as to foster an environment ripe for gratuitous and merciless destruction of opponents' wrists. Old Boy E-55 is to thank for the following photos which he posted in a post over at stlbking.

(click on photos to see the full, non-cropped image. this damned internets is acting funny.)

Dr. on his XTR equipped Kona Kula Deluxe 2-9:


Jack Taggert shreddin' and suprising the Marathon class as the lone rider on a cyclocross rig, and making it look easy cheesy japaneesy in the process:




Young Steve, who made it rain all day in his first fucking race ever:

Here comes Nico...






Nico (3rd place SS) and Gino (1st MFing Place, SS) displaying their optical-trophies - very intimidating:
(Thanks Christian at mtbunited for this one!)

What a way to kick off the 2009 race series, after having been disappointed (not due to anyone's fault) with the cancellations so far this year. So what if we ran out of beer sooner than expected. That isn't a a sign of us not bringing enough beer, it is a sign of there being moar racers than usual! That's a good sign of an expanding scene!

If this race was any sign of things to come, the upcoming races will be AMAZING - unlike a Nick Cannon comedy bit. At this point of the year, even if a race doesn't go as well as planned, it can still be used as fantastic training for any of our big upcoming races on the immediate horizon - Ouachita, the Bone Bender 3/6hr remix, Syllamos, and next weekends excursion into the Pain Cave - Rim Wrecker. Oh man, that one will hurt you like a pissed off chimp.

Here is an artist's depiction of the Team Seagal pain-assault as it looms against the competition:

Holy shit, I have to go. Come to Rim Wrecker next weekend - it could be named "T'aint Pain Re-Visited." Stop by the Seagal Camp for the cure for all things pain-related: PBR.

-Nico Toscani, featuring Casey F. Ryback


Anonymous said...

No foetoes of Mr. Puncher and his new steed? It's an outrage!


Chris Wurster said...

Gino and Nico, way to rock the house and snap some wrists in the season opener!

Doctor Goscinski said...

We've found the lost valley!!!! We've found it!!

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