Out n' Back on The Berryman: the Day Nico and The Dr. became Goscinski's

On Friday the 13th of March there was an exceptional sunrise over Brazil Creek, just outside of Bourbon, MO. As luck would have it, BoneBender was postponed so Dr. Wesley McLaren and I were there to see it. We woke from our tents around 6:15am, the temperature was 19 degrees. Our lights were charged but we wussed on that, instead waiting about a hour for Big Red to fire up the eastern sky. Then we took off. It was 24 degrees and the ground was frozen. We began riding The Berryman Trail east to west, stedialy checking off the miles in a clockwise fashion. 3 hours and 24 minutes later we were half of the way along towards becoming Goscinski's and pretty pleased about it. Back at the campsite for a minute, Dr. and I refueled and took some time to relax. We thought back to the previous evening when we built a fucking huge fire and drank imported Canadian whiskey. We were pleased about that too.

Soon it was time to leave again and somehow the temperature had climbed to 38 degrees. We took off from Brazil Creek for a second Berryman session, this time in a counter-clockwise manner because thats what we think D-Wayne would have told us to do. The ground was no longer frozen but that did not mean muddy bikes because this trail is made from rocks.

Things went quite well, the Dr. and I offically became Goscinski's 3 hours and 32 minutes later when we returned to the campsite and decided to quit riding for the day. Lap two took a bit longer because Dr. got a flat, my headset came loose, and somewhere between the artisan well and The Berryman Campground we actually ran into a outlaw band of Zambian Street Children. They detained us when we stopped to inspect what was the most peculiar of trail droppings:

The Street Children were quite protective of the white turd, collecting it and then ushering us quickly out of the vicinity with assurances that everything was "under control," that "Mr. Leroy will be back soon." Pretty weird.

Tomorrow is Saturday 3/14, The Dr. and I are going out to Lost Valley in the morning for some race recon. We will be leaving the mound at 9am, you should meet us there if you want. Some other guys are going out to conquer The Middlefork. Whatever you choose, go out there and get a BoneBender's worth of activity in you.

Good Day,

Nico Toscani


Chris Wurster said...

Bonus points for the Canadian Whiskey between laps

Casey Ryback said...

I had some white turds once; they came from a week of ingesting nothing but cocaine rails off of stripper's ass while standing out of a limo's sunroof with techno blaring.

A double Berryman is truly an accomplishment worthy of praise. You two dudes are gonna be seriously fast this year!

Brian said...

It's kick ass that you guys are riding so much.

I drove down to ride a few Toscani's on the Ozark Trail.

To qualify for a Toscani, you need to ride a fully rigid single speed 24 miles in Ozark Teritory.

I busted off the first Toscani in three hours or so. The second Toscani didn't go so well, as in I got home from my ride at midnight.

Mason Storm said...

Great job fellas!

Doctor Goscinski said...

I had never been to Berryman until Nico Goscinski took me out into the woods and beat me up this weekend. I think it is now my favorite trail. I just got back from camping there again last night and hiking some of it today. Strangely I did not feel the need to ride my bike this time.

BTW, when Nico Goscinski says the Zambian children were protective he is grossly understating it. They made us trade three yellow turds and one orange one for the privilege of taking a picture of the white one. Maybe those kids are onto something. Think about it Robort.