Teaser Race Report (Moar to come...)

I don't want to get too in depth here, as we have a wealth of photos that will be shared with you later this week, and then we can do a proper report. So stay tuned, even though I know that your wrists are most likely so snapped from this race, that you can't even operate the mouse to navigate away from this page. You actually probably just pushed the "on" button on your computer with your nub-for-a-hand, and then your computer is set to probably open your internet browser automatically, with your homepage set to the Team Seagal webpage. So now you play the waiting game, unable to do anything about it. Poor bastard.

For those of you that didn't bother showing up (I'm assuming that The View marathon was just too tempting to bother leaving home for an epic race), this is how the lake look this morning:

By the end of the day, this was what each of us looked like:
(The only difference being, he took first.)

It was truly an "ecstatic exhaustion," to quote Heartland Race Promotions.

To tide you over, watch this video, and try not to fall madly in love:

-Casey F. Ryback


CockPuncher said...

Good times. A 1:37 lap never felt so good!! I gotta run....need to go find some brake pads! Dos Primos produces some fine jenkem ingredients. Puncher

Marc said...

Well done fellas!

Nico Goscinski said...

The "Team Seagal Class" was inaugurated at this race and deemed a huge success. MFWTS officals will continue to offer this class at upcoming racing events in conjunction with every other race series nationwide.

In other news, I wish Gino would stop breaking my wrists and hello to Ministor!

Doctor Goscinski said...

What a mind blowing experience. Snowballs falling out of the trees,riding upstream on normally dry land, riding half a lap with no brakes whatsoever, and of course delicious PBR! On top of that Furby actually came through with our beers for showing up, and we swept the Team Seagal Class!

Sandbox/Gino said...

So can we put our Rim Wrecker Edition kits on with this order, so we're ready for next year? All brown. Or I could just use what I wore yesterday...
And if you see Nico around town, at a bar or something, please give him a hand. It's so hard to drink a beer with two broken wrists.
Team Seagal Class: winners will receive special editon 24k gold PBR 16oz cans!

Davey B said...

i hate the fact that there are i know so many pussies that didn't go, mainly my teammates.

thanks for making it a blast and all the tallboys!

you guys bring the party!

1x1head said...

"Hieneken?! Fuck that Shit, Pabst Blue Ribbon!" good times, gentlemen. Thanks for the coldies!

Matt said...

This comment is unrelated to that gay-ass rim job race:

I saw a janked-as-F trek hill bike outside Kayaks Coffee with a Seagal headbadge. Any of you fools own up to that?

You greasers tryin' to start turf wars? Kayak's is for the socs.


Mason Storm said...

I think that belongs to Mrs. XTRDA9SPDDR. She works next door to Kayaks, which btw u fools can keep to yourselves! We have plenty of *FREE* Pabst to drink, and therefore have no need for your costly iced mocha frapachino's.
PS- the only thing gay about the RW was the lack of MESA RIDERS!...Oh Snap!

Casey Ryback said...


Matt said...

Well played.

Apparently Seagal-ians strike in pairs like velociraptors or doppelgangers.

Casey Ryback said...

our vision is based on movement.

Mitch the Masher said...


I saw you just about get creamed by a Dorito truck this morning!

Casey Ryback said...

THAT PIECE OF SHIT - you saw that? Man, he honked at me AS his extendo-side view mirror was nearly brushing up against my ear-hairs (which aren't that long.) That piece of shit, it would have been so easy for him to wait 2.3 seconds as he moved over a lane.

That fucker. Funny you saw me, though!


Dr Goscinski said...

We prefer the "Flock of Seagals" attack style, which is silent, lethal, and gassy.

CBMFR, you should have pulled the dorrito driver out of his truck and dropped a coach jenkem bomb on his face. He would be terrified of cyclists for the rest of his life.

Oh, and that was Mrs XTRDA9ANDR's noble steed at the coffee shop in question. Blingtastic.