Team Seagal Presents: The Pinner Classic Non-Race #1

May 22nd, 2016 marked a place in history for Team Seagal in the Northwest.  The Pinner Classic was set to go down on this day, and why yes, it did!! A few months in the making and yours truly, T Tox, set off on making this non-race packed full of sponsorship giveaways, all the Oskar Blues Pinner Throwback IPA you could drink, and tons of fun riding on some sweet Northwest single track.

A few months ago, a few Team Seagal riders and friends made a 3.5 mile loop over at the Stottlemeyer Trail system. This course was to be the route for The Pinner Classic. We decided that the 3.5 mile loop was to be ridden 3 times with 80% of that route being single track and only 20% of that course ridden on fire roads. We showed only the highest levels of Superior Attitude on that February day. As you can see in the photo below, February in Washington isn't so bad for riding...

After creating the course, and working with our local sponsors for help, we set the date for The Pinner Classic.

Friday before the non-race, myself and our fire fighting Mr. Badass, Geoff (still waiting on a proper Seagal name) took the 9am ferry from Edmonds to Kingston for a day of hiking and clearing the course. We received only the best treatment of sunny weather, a six pack of NW tasty beer, and the best BLTs you can get from a gas station in WA.

To our delight, the course needed zero clearing and was ready to snap wrists for race day!

Now onto the non-race. We woke at 5am in preparations on making the 7:10 ferry. Instagram Zack, our Oskar Blues rep Erik, and myself got to the ferry in time and enjoyed baby sized Chorizo Egg burritos from our favorite 24hr Mexican spot, Memos! The skies showed an overcast day with little chances of rain. We had everything we needed on transporting the beer to the start location of the ride.

Imagine hauling 50lbs of beer and ice 1.5 miles on fire roads with one "barely" equipped BOB trailer. (Ask Instagram Zack about using a BOB trailer, he may forget to tell you about the locking pins on the bottom of the bolt on mounts.) That was fun having the trailer pop off twice on the ride up to the start location...

Thanks to Jason at Swift Industries for teaching us the ways of proper BOB trailer usage. Don't forget the locking pins...

Once the group of riders made their way to the start, we did exactly what jerks would do: prolong the race because we were busy drinking beers and enjoying the finest legal chinese herbs in the land.

Non Race begins. 12 riders set out for the title of The Pinner Classic Champion!

Lap one showed Andrew "Powerman 5000" in the lead, straight crushing souls and snapping wrists. Powerman would have the lead for the remainder of the race!

In 2nd place, fast on Powerman's tail was Mr. Swift Industries, Jason. Without knowing until the after party, Jason was our only single speed participant, and for that, he received the award for being Mr. Single Speed! And maybe the award for best way to eat a pickle then chug an Oskar Blues Pinner IPA! Strong work.

3rd and 4th place gave us Matt Servia and Fancy Fred fighting for podium placement. Servia would lead 3rd place for all 3 laps. Fancy was hot on his wheels though. Final lap gave us some exciting finishes. Servia comes sprinting to the finish line with Fancy right behind him! I never would have thought we would see a sprint finish in our first Northwest Non-Race...

The Pinner Classic Top 4:

Andrew "Powerman 5000" (1 hour 3 minutes)
Mr. Swift Industries (1 hour 11 minutes)
Matt "I don't do social media" Servia (1 hour 24 minutes)
Fancy Fred (1 hour 24ish minutes)

If you're wondering what happened to our other 8 racers, well, the night before the Non-Race, at the nearby campground, we found that a young man was having his bachelor party. Alex Royale and his buddies had all the whiskey their weak stomachs could take, and experienced a very challenging morning of bike riding. They did not complete the 3 laps.

Now, something to mention. Matt Servia was present for this bachelor party, and did he complain? No. He sucked it up, drank an Oskar Blues Pinner IPA, and read to the chinese gods for power and stability during his first Non-Race. He came out with true Seagal superior attitude and superior state of mind. Way to go, Jerk!

After the ride we did exactly what all Jerks do: drank all the beers, enjoyed fantastic sandwiches and pickles from our sponsor Kiss Cafe, and reminisced about the days festivities!

Zack showing us how to chase fireball with a little drop of pickle.

I have to mention somethings before I unload some photos.

Erik at Oskar Blues,
You went above and beyond for your efforts in making this race a reality. You brought 8 cases of beer, all the ice, hats, t-shirts, and pinners. And not to mention,  you hiked the 1.5 miles to the start with your heavy backpack full of more beer and the OB signature flag! Thank you.

Brenda at Kiss Cafe,
You showed your support in more ways than just gorilla sized fresh sandwiches. You came out and surprised us on your bike and did a hot lap just to get some riding in. You fucking rock and your cafe's pickles did not disappoint! Thank you.

J at Project 529,
Your busy schedule shows you really care about the community of Mountain Biking and the risk of bike theft. Your support goes a long way. Project 529 is a digital registration and recovery service for stolen bikes in your area. Thanks for the prizes and the appearance you made at the race! BIKE THIEVES SUCK.

Karin at Hunni Co.,
The case of locally made electrolyte water went to good hands. After a "few" beers and a big day of riding, your support kept us hydrated and our bodies happy. Thank you.

Brenda of Kiss Cafe and J with Project 529

2 gallons of sliced pickles! #allthepickles 

Fred, the fanciest of non-racers
Picker A.K.A. Samuel Axel, dressed as an Oskar Blues male model. Rarely seen drinking a beer or wearing beer gear.

Powerman 5000 just snapped every wrist that entered The Pinner Classic. He holds the title going into 2017.

Next Team Seagal NW event is The Vampire 100 on July 24th starting at 12am.


T Tox, over and out!


New East Coast Syndicate said...

A truly classic event and anyone that was at that bachelor party that rode a lap and threw up is a winner as well for showing truly superior attitude and superior state of mind. http://www.nlc.cn/newen/

Anonymous said...


- Crotch

dailybinge said...

Dudes - how do I get looped in to drankin' whiskey and snapping wrists with you jerks? I promise only incoherent mumblings and probably a lot of crashing right in front of you.

Orin Boyd said...
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